Sorry

fifteen

abia kamin

I was conflicted about everything. People continuously told me what to feel and what to do. I wanted to take a pause and just think. Think about the consequences that my actions could cause me. The lines were getting really blurred. People were seeing things so black and white, yet I was seeing grey. Everything was fucking grey.

Seated at the bay window seat, I hugged my knees. I bit my lip, Mateo coming onto my roof and expected me to open my window for him. So I did. I hadn't responded to any of his earlier texts and knew he would come to my house to check on me for himself.

I let my legs hang over the edge of my seat, doing everything to avoid eye contact.

"What's wrong?" Mateo read every bit of emotion on my face. Looking at him made me think about what Luna said and I wanted to break down into tears. Maybe letting him go was a good idea, but I truly did not want to lose him. "Talk to me," he went on his knees, his head levelled with my stomach. Seeing him like this did not help. He let down his walls as he grew more comfortable sharing every part of himself with me. How could I tell him that I think we should stop whatever is going on?

"I'm just really confused right now to be honest," I started off. Placing his lips on my exposed thighs, he slowly kissed along my stomach. "I don't want anything bad to happen to you." His body instantly stiffened and he stopped his affection.

"Why would something bad happen to me?" He went onto his feet, revealing our size difference with the way he towered over me.

"I'm starting to think this is a bad idea. If my coven finds out then-"

"Fuck your coven, Kamin," he interrupted me, not willing to hear what I had to stay. Being apart did not fly well with him. I could easily take all the blame for this. Mateo warned me at the start, but I continued to still let things get too far. "I made up my mind a long time ago, and I'm willing to sacrifice everything for you. Don't stress yourself out about me, because I can take care of myself. You hear me?" He held my head, forcing me to look up at him.

He made everything sound so simple. This wasn't just about him, but his family as well. It was his decision to make, not how could I allow him to endanger his family?

"It's not just us, Matty. It's your family who would suffer," I reminded him. Despite how we could pretend to be in our bubble, we needed to see reality.

"They more than anything want me to be happy. You make me happy. My family wants me happy, even if it comes in the form of the one person that could ruin everything for us. My family stands behind us, baby, no matter what they support us," he shared, stroking his thumb on my cheek. It was a shock hearing his family's continued support in face of all the consequences. If they were supportive then who was I to deny him and us.

"Okay," I agreed with a slight head nod. At a serious time like this, I could not help being turned on. His shirt was tight, letting his muscles be exposed. All I could think of is how easily he could throw me across the room.

I crossed my legs at the tingles forming between my legs, and he quickly caught on. He smirked, picking me up off the seat for my legs to wrap around him. I laughed, taking my shirt off before kissing him. Soft lips with a rough kiss.

I wanted him so bad and every thought in my head about how bad this was slowly disappeared because I didn't care. I did not care about how terrible things could end. My only care was what I felt at the moment, and at the moment I wanted him inside of me. I wanted all of him inside me.

Pushing my back against the wall, a hand went down. The sound of his belt unbuckled shouldn't have given me goosebumps, but it did. His pants dropped to the ground, the tip of his hard length threatening its way out of his brief. His hand reached into my shorts and he felt my wet pussy already watering for him.