Sorry

fifteen

abia kamin

I was conflicted about everything. People continuously trying to tell me what to feel and what to do. I wanted to take a pause and just think. Think about the consequences that my actions could cause me. The lines were getting blurred and when people were seeing things as black and white, I was seeing them as grey. Everything is fucking grey.

Seated at the bay window seat, I hugged my knees. I bit my lip, Mateo coming onto my roof and expecting me to open my window for him. So I did. I stopped texting Mateo and knew he would come to my house and check on me for himself. But seeing him would just make things more complicated for me.

"What's wrong?" Mateo assessed the emotions that were heavily radiating off of me. Looking at him made me think about what Luna had said and I wanted to break down into tears. Maybe letting him go was a good idea, but I truly did not want to lose him. "Talk to me," he went on his knees, his head being levelled to my stomach. Seeing him like this did not help. I really broke down his wall, allowing him to feel safe with this entirely new side of himself. How could I tell him that I think we should stop whatever is going on?

"I'm just really confused right now to be honest," my feet dangled over the seat. Placing his lips on my exposed thighs, he slowly kissed along my leg. He was gentle and nurturing, doing what he could to comfort me. "I don't want anything bad to happen to you."

"Why would something bad happen to me?" He went onto his feet, showing me how small I was compared to him.

"I'm starting to think this is a bad idea. If my coven finds out then-"

"Fuck your coven, Kamin," he interrupted me, not willing to hear what I had to stay. Being apart did not fly well with him. I could easily take all the blame for this. Mateo told me this all from the start, but I continued to still show interest in him and let things get too far. "I made up my mind a long time ago, and I'm willing to sacrifice everything for you. So don't stress yourself out about me, because I can take care of myself. You hear me?" He held my head, forcing me to look up at him.

He was making everything sound simple. This wasn't just about him, but his family as well. But who was I to argue and try to make a decision for him?

"Okay," I agreed with a slight head nod. At a serious time like this, I could not help being turned on. His shirt was tight, letting his muscles be exposed. All I could think of is how easily he would be able to throw me across the room.

I crossed my legs at the tingles occurring between my legs, and he quickly caught on. "You like that huh?" He smirked, picking me up off the seat for my legs to wrap around him. I laughed, taking my shirt off before kissing him. Soft lips with a rough kiss.

I wanted him so bad and all of the thoughts in my head about how bad this was were slowly disappearing because I didn't care. I did not care about how terrible things could end. My only care was what I felt at the moment, and at the moment I wanted his dick inside of me.

Pushing my back against the wall, a hand went down. The sound of his belt unbuckled shouldn't have given me goosebumps, but it did. His hand reaching into my shorts, he felt my wet pussy that only watered for him.

"Fuck baby you're so wet," he grunted, taking his time as his fingers mapped the lips.

"I want you, Mateo," I whispered and I could see the hesitance in his eyes. "Please."

My hips went forward, opening myself to him more. Parting from the kiss, my head went up as he rubbed the tip of his length between my legs. He took his time, wanting to see how bad I wanted it as he teased me. My body was crying for him, but he wanted to see me beg for it.