This Can't Be// Shawn Mendes

Aftertaste or Not

*Macky's POV*

I woke up and I was alone in my tent. I got dressed and put my hair up in a ponytail, then walked out to see everyone eating fruits and talking. I sat in a chair next to Matt and he handed me an apple "What's the plan?"

"We're going hiking as soon as Luke and Cameron gets back from whatever they're doing. How was your sleep?"

"Pretty good and comfy" I said back. "Could you be honest?" he nodded. "Is it bad that I like Luke? I mean, I can't like my best friend. Plus with everything that happened at the party it's weird now, you think Shawn is actually fine with me and Luke?" I said.

Matt sighed and I looked down "Luke is a good guy I don't see the problem, but if you didn't like Luke then obviously something is wrong with you. Ya, it's weird to date your best friend; I honestly wouldn't date them. Maybe hook up once in a while, but never date them." I nodded, so everything is good then. "Shawn, he just wants you happy I guess. He told me when we went to our tent, that he's- he thought you were the one..."

I sighed and slumped down in my chair "Remember when I talked to you about me and Shawn having sex?" Matt nodded. "Well, you said my feelings weren't clear at the time and maybe I'll fall for hot rookie Luke. I think you're right..."

Matt smiled at me and hugged me from the side "See, call me a love doctor." I shook my head and laughed "At least I tried, but if you never met Luke the way you did in the halls would you still wanna be with Shawn?" No.

"I don't know, I guess I was over reacting. None of all this would be happening if I didn't. I got mad and went straight home instead of going to hockey practice, then I could of avoided my mom and she wouldn't be jail... And Shawn wouldn't have kissed that girl. It sucks though, so much weight." I ate my apple and threw it into the garbage.

I got up and walked off into the woods with my guitar and my music book "Where are you going!?!" I heard Sierra scream.

"I just need to get some stuff off my chest, I'll be back later go with out me!" I said walking down to the lake and sitting on a rock. So much happened, just because we agreed to have sex.

I strummed the guitar and did some fingerstyling.

Re-rewind Friday night, never forget it
How you let me go
No more lies I'll be fine I know where I'm headed
Probably should've known

And now you're gonna say, "Pretty, please forgive me."
Fool me once, told you twice you're gonna regret it
Now you're all alone, yeah

I remember Shawn was sitting on the bed with Janessa on his lap kissing her and both were shirtless. Next thing I know I'm laying in a hospital bed and Shawn trying to apologize to me, we were both regretting this whole thing.

Turns out that no one can replace me
I'm permanent, you can't erase me
I'll help you remember me
One more kiss is all it takes
I'll leave you with the memory
And the aftertaste

Close your eyes, you can't hide
Try to forget me, but I'm everywhere
I'm the smell on your sheets
you weren't ready when you left me there

And now you're gonna say, "Pretty, please forgive me." Yeah
Bet it hurts, it gets worse, you know nobody, said it would be fair, oh

Turns out that no one can replace me
I'm permanent, you can't erase me
I'll help you remember me
One more kiss is all it takes
I'll leave you with the memory
And the aftertaste

I could never forget everything we did together since we met. To the day I moved out here from the UK, to Shawn teaching me English, and from craving our names on a tree. I don't think we both could ever forget each other.

And now there's something in your way
'Cause you threw it all to waste
And you wonder if you could take back what you did that day
And it hurts, 'cause...

Did Shawn ever think about what he did? What I saw from my view? I felt so stupid. What else goes along with this?

Turns out that no one can replace me
I'm permanent, you can't erase me
I'll help you remember me
One more kiss is all it takes
I'll leave you with the memory
And the aftertaste

Truth is that no one can replace me
I'm permanent, you can't erase me
I'll help you remember me
One more kiss is all it takes
I'll leave you with the memory
And the aftertaste
And the aftertaste

I wrote down the last of the lyrics I had with the music notes and closed my book. "Macky..." Shawn.

I got up and we made eye contact and I looked away. Shawn was still staring at me was I left, all the sudden I feel better but then at the same time life was falling apart. Shawn grabbed my wrist stopping me "I can't Shawn... I can't be your girlfriend. I'm sorry..."

Shawn nodded and let go of my wrist "I'm sorry..." I walked away and I felt tears falling down my cheek and the saltiness hit my lip. I walked back to the campsite and grabbed my keys from my bag, then sat in my car with the doors locked.

My hands on the steering wheels smacking it as I cried. I can't let him go... Not Shawn... My head rested on the cold leather steering wheel as tears fell on my lap leaving a damped spot. I just cried and cried until there was nothing left to cry, I guess I fell asleep.

I woke up and didn't see anyone, it was only about 4:45 now. I sat there staring straight ahead, I pulled down the sun blocker and something fell on my lap. It was a picture of Shawn and I in the front seats when I first got the car and on the back 'Nothing will get in our way. Besties forever and ever - Mackers and Shawnsty.' I put it back and leaned back in my seat with sunglasses on.

There was a knocking at the window and Shawn was standing there "Macky, please. Mackenzie!" I opened the door and looked at him. "I was going to tell you we were going to go hiking and that they already left. Why did you walk off for?" Wait so he didn't hear? God, I just cried for nothing.

I got out and locked it "I'm just stressed out... I, uhm, I- it's really complicated..."

Shawn nodded "We just go back and Sierra is making a snack." I followed Shawn and he smiled at me all goofy like in our early friendship. He always did it to cheer me up and it always did, I couldn't help but smile and laugh a bit. "There we go, there that pretty little smile" I rolled my eyes and laughed softly.

"We're still besties right?" I said out of the blue. Shawn stoppeand I bumped into his back, he looked at me and helped me.

Shawn's face softened "Of course Macky. Forever, it doesn't matter what happens. I rather be besties than anything else. Honestly." I nodded and Shawn hugged me tight and hugged him back just as tight with my eyes closed. "That's why you were crying? You thought we weren't besties, huh?"

I nodded and he rubbed my back and a few tears slipped. "I miss you, Shawn..."

"I miss you too, McMackers..." Shawn laughed at the name and he pulled away. "You don't have to worry about loosing me, Mackenzie."

"You don't have to worry about loosing me either, Shawnsty..."