This Can't Be// Shawn Mendes

Just No More

*Shawn's POV*

We finally came home from camping and we were all exhausted and burnt badly with tans. Matt and Nash were staying over for some reason, so we headed to the rink to play hockey and get some practice in. We geared up and got on the ice we did half rink to on rink and one goalie.

I looked at Matt and he just smiled, we started playing and I tried some of my tricks on him. Sadly failing. I kept doing it over and over, but it never worked with him or Nash. I sat on the ground and practically gave up, honestly I only let them stay to get my mind off on Macky and the whole Janessa incident. "Shawn, come on!"

"Dude what's wrong?" Nash asked. I shook my head and he pulled my jersey "What's up with you?"

"Nothing" I pulled my arm away and headed to the box. He skated over me and looked at me "Macky, okay. That's my problem. I missed up so badly, I hate the fact the she's with Luke. Then I'm happy that she's happy. I just ruined it all, she told me her feelings I just walked out. She fell for me and I wasn't the one to show her that I care or catch her, it was Luke. He took care of her and everything after her mom, not me. I turned my back on her when she needed me the most."

They sighed and I put my stick on the ground "Do you think you would still feel this strong for her if you guys never had sex?" I looked at Matt and he was just waiting for an answer.

"No..."

Nash sighed "We all know you like her and when she told you how she felt why did you just push it away?"

I looked at the ground "Because it was the night at the hospital when you all left so I could talk to her. Luke stayed behind and just went outside the room. It's complicated, okay. I don't even know anymore, I rather be best friends and have her forever, it's just hard. Loving someone so much and they don't love you as much you need too. She doesn't love me love me, like the way I do with her-"

"Shawn did you just hear yourself!? Your telling us you're in love with Macky!?" Matt said. I shrugged "Dude..."

I slumped in my seat and rubbed my face "Everything is different. She's over the whole Luke incident, her mom is in jail 'cause of me for almost 10 years,
I broke her heart, and top that I just let her fall and break even more... I get it, it's just I wish I did something more..." Matt patted my shoulder.

*Macky's POV*

Today I decided to upload the video of me singing and it instantly went viral and I was getting a bunch of follows and subscribers. After I'm going to the hockey rink with some of the hockey girls to just hang and bond. I opened the door "Did you just hear yourself!? Your telling us you're in love with Macky!?" there was a loud shocked tone voice similar to Matt's. The girls looked at me when the person said my name. "Dude..."

We walked down to the bleachers and listen in "Everything is different. She's over the whole Luke incident, her mom is in jail 'cause of me for almost 10 years,
I broke her heart, and top that I just let her fall and break even more... I get it, it's just I wish I did something more..." Shawn. I watched him and Matt walked over patting his shoulder.

Seriously. Why me? I looked at Delilah and according to them they been talking "I thought Shawn was into you?"

"I'm kinda like his counselor person. All he talks about is his problems" she whispered. I groaned sat back "Just think about Macky, you and Shawn are meant to be."

I groaned and got irritated with people always telling me that. I just snapped "No, no we can't be tighter that's the problem! If we break up, we won't talk to each other. It already almost happened once and we didn't talk for two months. I was always there for him, but when I needed him he wasn't there I didn't care that it was his fault I just needed him. If I loose Shawn, then I don't even know what I'm going to do with my life. All relationships end with heart break and ours almost did when he kissed Janessa and you guys know that! I don't even know anymore, I can't even be happy without having to feel like a monster. Problem is that I did nothing wrong to feel this way. It was Shawn, he turned his back on me when I needed-"

"Woah! What!?" someone cut me off. I turned around and the guys where looking at me.

Nash was looked at Shawn "You kissed Janessa!" Just perfect they heard everything I said. Shawn looked up at me and he looked so sad.

"Just, no more of this. I can't, Shawn please just stop with this..." I said. Shawn looked down.

Matt was looking between us "This makes no sense! What happened!?"

"At the hockey party, when I was with you boys I left to get chips and more drinks remember?" Matt nodded. "Before I was going to get back, I was going to the bathroom, I saw Shawn and Janessa kissing in Tay's room...." Matt looked at Shawn. "I passed out because I wasn't eating right and drink too much, when I was them kissing I ran as fast as I could. Then I passed out before I got out of the house."

Matt clenched his first up "How the hell are you going to say you love Macky and you make out with her ex-best friend!? Explain that! Then after she basically tell you she loves you, you ignore her, and you throw fits that she's with Luke! Get your head out of your ass, Mendes!" Nash pulled Matt away and took him out of the rink.

I sighed and Shawn just sat on the bench looking at the ground "Go talk to him."

"I'm going to get going, I'll come back another day. I should get Matt home before he gets arrested..." I left and went to my car. I'm not going to be happy with Shawn being sad that I'm happy with Luke.

I had to distance myself from him to being just close friend how keep in touch with each other. I had to or else I won't be happy, Shawn will move on and find himself a girl. This had to happen, none of this was going to happen. Can't have both things every time.