Suicide Season

Let's Try This One More Time

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Rachel's p.o.v.
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We eventually got me out of the hospital, because I was finally healthy again. Well, close to it anyway.

Eli came to pick up Faith and I.

"Hey, how you feeling?" He asked me.

I just kept looking out the back seat window, since Faith obviously sat shotgun.

"Look, I know you're upset with me, but please don't ignore me. Talk to me, yell at me or something. Anything." He said.

Why the hell does he care whether I talk to him or not? I just sigh and glare at him through the rear view mirror.

I suppose he caught on because he shut up and Faith plugged her phone up to the aux. She put it on shuffle and the first song that came on was It Was Written In Blood by Bring Me The Horizon.

"Oh! Let's not listen to this. Not a good song right now." She said, hurriedly turning the song.

The next song that came on was Oui by Jeremiah because we listen to varieties of music.

The car ride back to Faith's house was long and uncomfortable. When we pulled up to the house I got out of the car and sprinted to the door step. I don't want to be around him any longer than I have to.

Faith gave me a spare key when we were in middle school, since I would come over all of the time.

I just don't think I can forgive her so quickly. It's not something I want to jump right back into.

I unlock the door and run to her guest room where Eli and I stayed. I got all of his shit together. His clothes, toothpaste and such and shoved it in his bag. I took the bag, and I wanted to throw it down the stairs, but I decided to be more mature than that.

I walked downstairs and placed his duffle on the couch and walked back upstairs calmly.

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Faith's p.o.v
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Wow. We seriously pissed her off. I honestly do feel terrible about what I've done.

Rachel came downstairs and laid, what I assumed was Eli's, bag on the couch. Without looking at either of us she walked back upstairs. By the way she acted in the car I expected her to throw the bag at him.

That's what I thought until suddenly I heard They Have No Reflections by Bring Me The Horizon blast from my speakers in my guest room. Yeah. She's pissed. I just look at Eli.

"What the fuck did we do?" I yell over the music to him. It was a rhetorical question really. But Eli is an idiot so he actually answered it.

"We made her want to die." He says obviously. I just death glared him. He caught on and looked at me with wide 'okay!' eyes and turned around to get a Rockstar from the fridge.

I decide this isn't just going to blow over. I walk upstairs. I open the door. Rachel can't hear me over the music. She I face down on the bed repeatedly punching it.

Before I could do anything she just stopped. Sat up facing the wall and fixed her hair, calmly. I walk over and turn down the music so it is barley heard. She notices and turns around.

She looks at me like I just punched her in the face. Not so much surprised though. More angry than anything. She just sits on the edge of the bed and smiles. I don't trust her when she smiles like that.

I slowly walk over to her and sit beside her on the bed.

"This is stupid. Can we please just try to forget all of this and try to be happy for once in out lives?" I ask.

"Forget all of it? Really?" She asks sarcastically.

"Yes! I don't want to remember that I almost killed my best friend." My eyes were starting to water as I raised my voice.

"Yeah! And maybe I don't want to remember by best friend all over my ex boyfriend!" She retorts quickly.

Tears were fully flowing now. I know what I did was wrong, but I never thought it would ever go this far.

"I'm sorry. I know you'll never really forgive me, but if I wasn't sorry I wouldn't say it. I didn't know you loved him. I thought it was just puppy love. I did it think it would hurt you this much." I say.

"Well you were wrong." She said and turned her head, hiding her own tears.

At that point I didn't know what to do. I just got up and walked out. I walked into the bathroom. I locked the door behind me and sat by the bathtub on the floor. Al I did was cry.

I cried because I had to be stupid and selfish, when I should have been happy. But no, I had to he greedy.

I thought of a question that needed to be answered. Right now. I stand up to look in the mirror and wiped my tears.

I open the door and walk back into my guest room. Which is now Rachel's room. I see her curled up and crying as well. I sit beside her once again.

"How can I fix this?" I whisper.

"I... I don't know...." She replied sniffling.

"Forgive and forget?" I ask.

She slightly smiles and nods slowly.

"Okay." I smile. "Want Alex to come over and it can be like our first double date was? We can get Starbucks and watch Netflix. Only with boyfriends switched." I giggle. This seems to cheer her up as she nodded eagerly.

"Okay, it's a plan." I smile happily that I was successful at getting the perfect guy, my best friend back and to feel loved.

The one thing that was always distant, welcomed me home. Like a parent would. And I must admit, it feels pretty damn good.