Unexpected Turn. [h.s. & n.h.]

Chapter 20

DAY 8

I wasn't raised to believe that there is live after death or anything like that but I at least thought when you die that you went to a special place, maybe a place with your favourite memories or somewhere you've always wanted to go but I guess I was wrong. I guess I went to hell cause I woke up in a hospital, the one place I didn't want to be. I heard the door click open.

"You're awake." I heard Niall stutter though tears but yet relief.

I sat there stunned. It didn't work. I wasn't dead, I wasn't in hell, I was alive in a hospital bed as a patient, my eyes started to get blurry because of the tears.

"Niall.."

"What the fuck were you thinking huh? That you could just leave and it would make things better? What would I have told Harry when he woke up and wanted to see to see your face but then I had to tell him you killed yourself.  You almost left me Allie, I am your best fucking friend and that's not fair. That's fair what you tried to do." He said in a raised voice with tears streaming down his face.

"I'm sorry." I said turning away so that I didn't have to see him cry and see the disappointment in his eyes, Niall has been my best friend for four years and I have barely seen him cry. So being the reason of his pain and tears made me sick to my stomach.

"What even happened?" I asked cautiously. 

"Well I came to pick you up because we were going to go grocery shopping and you didn't answer the door so at first I thought maybe you had left but your car was still in the drive way, so then I thought maybe you were just in the shower and didn't hear me knocking so I looked for the spare key and found it and let myself in. I didn't hear the shower running so I called out your name but still nothing. Then I went looking for you and then I found you in bed and I thought you were just fell asleep but I know how much you hate taking naps plus it was getting late so I wanted to wake you and you just wouldn't wake up so I ran to the bathroom to get a cold clothe and I saw all the pills on in the toilet and the sleeping pills on the counter so then I panicked really badly and called emergency and did CPR on you. Al I know you're in a bad place but you cant pull something like that again. I even had to call your mum."

"You called my mum." I said coldly.

"Well I didn't, they did." He said worry rushing over his face.

"Niall you let them call my fucking mum, are you out of your mind? I don't want to see her. I don't want her to come here. How could you let them." I cried.

"Shh Allie, its going to be okay." He said running over to me as I broke down in his arms.

I felt like I was in a trace and I just woke up and now I'm hearing all the bad news. But then it clicked that he was still here as well.

"Harry" I whispered.

"He's okay" Niall said holding me.

"He's okay? Better? Awake?" a little excitement filled my voice.

"No Al, he's still out but his condition has gotten better."

"Oh" I was hit with disappointment.

"I am sorry, I wish I could give you better news." He said upset.

"It's fine, there's nothing you can do, and there's nothing anyone can do."

I wish it had worked, I wish I could have just fallen asleep and not have been woken up again. I didn't want to be here, and I didn't want to be in the hospital.

"Niall I want to go home."  I mumble.

"You cant" he said blankly

"What do you mean I cant?"

"Allie you tired to kill yourself. You have to stay here because you're on suicide watch."

"Niall, I cant. I need to go home, I don't want to be here." I felt panic wash over me. 

A knock on the door interrupted us. It was Anne; I whipped the tears out of my face and tried to steady my breathing.

"Love, are you okay?" her eyes were watery; she walked over and hugged me ever so close.

"I cant loose the both of you." she whispered in my ear crying.

I squeezed her tighter and closed my eyes as the tears started the fall again.

"Anne I am so sorry. I just feel so lost."

"I know Allie, I think we all are a little but you and I both know he would hate to see you like this, it would break him. You need to try to stay strong for him, can you do that?" said holding my hand.

"I'll try Anne. I really will."

"I'll give you two a few minutes." Niall said, I had completely forgotten he was still standing there.

"Thank you" she said turning to him and giving him a small smile.

"Tell me how you are feeling Allie."

"I feel like things are out of place, new years was suppose to go so much different. I wanted to make it special, it's only been eight days and I just don't know what to do, I feel angry, confused, broken, upset. No happy emotions at all, and now that I found out my mother is coming I feel stressed and furious"

"I heard about your mum, I am sorry that she is coming. I'll be there for you okay? But I think maybe all this you should see someone, I know someone good."

"A shrink? Anne I have opened up to 3 people in my life, that's it. A shrink means more meds, plus I am on suicide watch."

I have only ever opened up to Brinley, Niall and Harry. It wasn't easy for me to do because I spent my whole life not being heard so I thought they wouldn't listen, but they did.

Just one time Al, if not for you then for him."

"Fine, I'll go" I said defeated.

"Good, thank you. Now get some sleep and I will come by tomorrow" she said giving me another hug.

"Ok Anne, I will see you tomorrow. Thank you for everything."

She smiled warmly and walked out, I turned around and shut my eyes. Hoping to get some sleep.