Be good for me

Goodbye michael

Hours upon hours I felt nothing but pain and numbness from all of it.

It's been days but seemed like years and after my heart still cousins heal or even process this.

He did call

And he did text

He talked to me when he saw me

Only of so long

He then stopped with the texts

And the calls

He ignored me in the halls

And spent his time with other girls

I began to feel as if everything we went through was all a lie and meant nothing to him. But some part inside me said it did.

I couldn't make a choice to kill myself so I didn't have to live like this or actually talk to him.

"Michael?"

"I miss you"

"I hate you"

"But i love you more"

I planed my words slowly

Before seeing him at school again

::::::::::

I walked over to him, by the smoke pit; a drag hung at the corner of his lips as he looking at the ground while a girl was talking too him.

It felt weird seining him after weeks of not talking.

I suck in a sharp breath before walking up to him.

"Michael?" I say and he looks at me and smiles for a split second before washing it off and throws the drag to th ground.

"Tessa?" He sounded doubtful

"Can I talk to you?" He asked and I nodded gripping my books tighter.

He lead me to the school doors and looked me straight in the eyes.

"I just wanna talk" I say looking at the ground. I heard him sigh and then looked up.

"Tessa...I don't even know what you want me to say? Do you want me to apologize? Ive don't that more that I can count and I'll keep doing it until you'll forgive me but if you don't want it and don't want an 'us' then don't let me believe you do, and I can't go on knowing we can't fix this" he said motioning between us.

"You hurt me Michael, the one person I thought I could trust stabbed me multiple times at once" I say tearing up, I refused to look into his green eye knowing I'll cave in and hurt all over again.

"Baby I'm so so so fucking sorry! I swear to god if didn't mean nothing you're the only girl I'll ever want" he said trying to grab my hands but I wouldn't budge

"You don't get to say that Michael! You cheated on me! You shoved your dick into some girls pussy proving to me that you're the person everyone said you were! I always thought you were different and you were nothing like the rumours but now I'm not so sure" I spat.

He seemed to get angry at my words.

"I know I fucked up! Ok? I know I messed this up and I would re do the whole thing just so I could hold you and call you mine again, but I'm trying to fix this and you aren't giving me anything to fix" he said fuming

"I loved you" I spat causing him to stop.

"I fucking loved you with all my heat and every breath in my lungs but you threw it all away when you cheated on me and now all theses feelings I had for you are killing me because I can't look at you the same" I say quieter

"Baby.." He said and I looked back

"Don't call me that" I hissed at his touch.

He was hurt, it was clear

"You can't change what happened Michael" I say and he doesn't look at me this time.

"You're right you know" I say.

He looks at me confused.

"You were a monster all along" I spat causing him to wince.

"You broke my heart the one thing everyone told me you would do and I thought maybe it'd be different " I said he didn't say anything I question if he was still listening.

"I should've listened to you when you told me to go away"  he shook his head rapidly.

"No no no no" he reached of for me but I stepped back.

"You're an asshole"

"You never loved me"

I spat

He kept calling out my name until I realized I was inches away from the road.

"Good bye Michael" with that I took one last step backwards.