22. I'll protect you

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For the longest time I have kept it all to myself–what happened, I mean. And the more I keep it inside, the more it's killing me.

I see it like a balloon. I am the balloon and the feelings inside me are the air inside me. At first when the balloon starts filling up it's okay and the more you fill it with air–in this case, feelings and worries– it will grow bigger and bigger.

And at some point it will finally explode.

That's how I feel. I feel like at some point I will not take it anymore and... explode.

But it's not that I didn't want to open up to anyone.

I didn't have anyone to open up to.

But now I do, Nolan. I don't know what it is but there's something about him that makes me want to trust him. Scratch that, I do trust him.

"So... um... when I was 7 my-" And that's when Garrett started crying again.

"Dammit." Nolan muttered before standing up and walking towards Garrett's crib, I followed him. I was kind of bummed about it, maybe it wasn't the right time.

Nolan was carrying Garrett, moving him side to side. I know this seems like a very cliché thing to say, but he looked very adorable with a baby in his arms.

I couldn't help but smile at him.

"Um.. do you need some help?"

"Nah, I got it." He said, glancing up at me. "

Then we heard the door open and Nolan's eyes instantly lighted up. "That must me Ella."

He literally sprinted to the front door (carefully of course because Garrett was still in his arms–still crying), and I fast walked there.

"Oh thank the Lords Ella." Nolan passed baby Garrett to Ella and she chuckled. "You can have your baby back."

Ella shook her head. "I can't imagine the day you have your own kid." She started rocking Garrett from side to side whilst humming a tune, surprisingly Garrett's cry started to calm down.

Some things only mothers can do.

Ella looked up at me, "Oh hi Noel, I didn't see you there."

"Hi Ella, yeah I was just helping Nolan take care of Garrett, where's Noah?" I asked.

"He dropped me off and went to buy some diapers and other stuff." She said, looking down at the now silent baby. "I got this, you guys can go and... hang out." She says with a wink at Nolan.

Nolan rolled his eyes. "Gladly, let's go Ellie."

I smile at the nickname that Nolan made up for me. "Let's talk in my room if you're okay with that?"

"Yeah okay."

We went up stairs and went to his room. I've gotten a bit used to going to his house and I've been to his room a couple of times so it's not that weird.

He sat down in the sofa (yes, he had a sofa in his room) and I sat beside him.

"So... you were telling me what happened?" He asked, "if you don't want to tell me it's okay it's not like I'm forcing you, it's completely fine and maybe you're not re-"

I put a hand on his shoulder. "You're rambling, and I want to tell you."

He nodded.

I took a deep breath, I can do this. "So my life was perfect, I had both a mom and a dad. They loved each other and they loved me too so life was just great. My dad was a pilot and my mom had a flower shop.

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