In love with my best friend

Trying to forget

"For real? I've been waiting since yesterday to know how everything went!" Katie spat, bursting in through my front door. "Should've locked the door for once." I mutter to myself. I had barely woken up, and now I was sitting on my couch with a cup of coffee well watching Parks and Recreation.

"Sorry I got home late." I shrug as she takes a seat next to me. "Late?" She arches her eyebrow well I frown. "We didn't do anything." I shake my head. "Wouldn't have been the first time." She points out. "We just hung out and talked." I shrug. "Was it awkward?" She asks. "Surprisingly no, we went most of the day without even bringing up what we did. We ended up laughing and talking about old times."

"You didn't even talk about it?" She asks in shock. "Well we did in the end, we agreed to never talk about it again and let everything go back to normal." I take another sip of my coffee. "So you pretty much swept it under the carpet?" I frown. I hadn't really thought about it in that way.

But it didn't feel like we were sweeping it under the carpet, it felt like there was nothing to talk about. What we did happened, and we can't do anything about it. "Yup, pretty much." I nod. "And you're okay with that? You're okay with you two never talking about the fact that you two had sex? Even when you're extremely in love with him?" She asks, not believing it. "Yes, and I really like Zack. Me and Adam will never happen, maybe my feelings for him were just feelings and nothing more." Her mouth falls.

"You're not serious Allison?! You're in love with Adam! IN LOVE! And not only that but you and Adam already happened, you didn't just kiss him, you fucked him!" I gasp. "Language!" I spat. "You can keep ignoring your feeling Allison, but soon enough you'll be standing by Nicole well she marries him, well she gets to have the life you want with him. And than you'll know that you should've done something about your feeling well you could've." I frown.

"No I wont, I'll be up there smiling, feeling happy for Adam.. And my boyfriend Zack will be waiting for me afterwards, and my life will go on, and as my feelings for Adam, they'll ceased to exist." I shrug. "Keep telling yourself that.." I bite my lip, looking down at my coffee cup.

~~

"Hey Allison! I hope to see you at the dinner rehearsal next week!" I read the text Nicole had sent me. The wedding was only 2 weeks away. I wondered how time passed so freaking fast! Soon Adam would be married.. I still couldn't believe it. I don't know if I'll be either happy for him when he gets married or heartbroken. I still had feelings for Adam, and I hated to admit them. Somehow I thought after having sex with him and trying to forget that ever happened would help me move on.

But a one night stand with Adam only had me thinking about us more. God I'm so stupid, I should just realize the fact that I'll never get over Adam, and I'll always be waiting for him without even knowing it. Ugh! Why can't he be the one in love with me? Why did I have to be the pathetic best friend who secretly wanted to marry him?!? I'm so stupid, utterly stupid.

"Of course you'll see me at the rehearsal dinner." I texted back, adding a smiling emoji at the end. I didn't want to seem sarcastic or rude although that's what I was aiming for. Nicole was only ever fake around me. I think she knows how I feel about Adam and she wants to rub the fact that she's marrying him in front of me! That bitch.