In love with my best friend

There's nothing left to say now

I was currently getting dressed to go meet Adam. He had just got back from his honey moon a day ago. He invited me for breakfast early this morning. I got dressed into some skinny jeans and a green flannel with a black beanie.

I headed out, meeting him at our favorite breakfast place the next block over. I walked, unsure why I decided to walk on a cloudy day. It looked like it was about to rain. By the time I got to the coffee shop it was already sprinkling. I walked inside, spotting Adam in the far back.

He was wearing a gray v neck tshirt with some jeans. I was surprised to see that he also had a beanie on. I would be lying if I said I didn't find him attractive today.

I was kinda dreading going out with him. I had texted Katie and told her what I was doing and she reminded me to tell Adam id be moving. I told her I didn't want to, but she reminded me that Adam is my best friend, and he wants the best for me.

I walk towards him, sitting across from him in the booth. "Hey." He smiled. "Hey, how was the honey moon?" I ask, sitting down my bag next to me. "It was fine. I was surprised to hear back from you. I texted you a lot and you haven't been texting back.." He said. He looked rather worried and I felt bad for not texting him back. "Ya sorry about that, I just didn't want to bother you, I mean you were on your honey moon." I shrug.

"Oh." He nods. "So umm, how's everything? What have you been up to?" He asks. "Well I actually wanted to talk to you about that.." I whisper, feeling the dread wash over me once again. "What's up?" He asks. I bite my lip, thinking. "Well Zack asks me to move with him." I say. "Really? Where?" He asks, he didn't seem too happy. "Manhattan." He arches his eyebrow, surprised.

"Manhattan? That's far." I bite my lip once again. "And what did you say?" He asks. "I said okay..." I trail off, trying to figure out if he was mad or not. "You said yes? Really? You guys hardly have been dating. What's gonna happen if you break up?" I was taken back by his rude attitude.

"I'll figure that out if that ever does happen." I mutter. "So you're just going to leave? Just like that?" He asks. "Well yes, there's nothing here for me. I'm going no where in my job and well Zack is a future for me." I point out. "There's plenty here for you, and if you were serious about your job you'd keep trying." He shakes his head.

"You don't think I've been trying?! I've had this job forever and I work my ass of trying to get somewhere in it! Why can't you just be happy for me?" I ask. "Maybe because you're making stupid choices. You and Zack hardly have been dating, for gods sake Allison you were having sex with me a month ago!" He spat. My eyes go wide.

We agreed to never ever bring that up.. "Says you! You just got married and you cheated on her! You have no room to judge me!! Besides I like Zack and I can actually see a future for me with him!" I spat. "There's a fine line between like and love, Allison." He says. "This isn't about you Adam. I've gone no where in my life! And when I find a way to actually have something for me you try and destroy it.." I bite my lip.

"I can't stay here for you, Adam. I can't keep making decisions revolving around you. I need to make a decision that'll actually do something for me." I shake my head. "I'm sorry but I'm going to move Adam." I grab my bag. "I'll see you later." I get up walking outside in the now pouring rain. "Fuck you Allison!" I gasp, turning around. "What?!" I yell at Adam. "Fuck you!" I spat back, still taken back by him.

There was a long silence with only the sound of the pouring rain. We stared at each other with what I believe was anger. Suddenly he shakes his head, sighing. "I'm sorry I just-" he stops, looking at me. "You just what?" I ask. "I don't know, I umm- the night we slept together.. well I think I wanted to." I frown, feeling my mouth slightly gape open on its own.

"We can't keep doing this Adam.." I whisper. "I'm not even sure what this is." I add. "What happened to us just being friends? Without so much in between?" I ask. "I don't know, I don't know why it has to be so complicated for us." He whispers.

"I'm in love with you Adam." I whisper. "And I think you know it." I add. He stares at me, another wave of silence washed over us. "I'm married Allison." He says, making me slightly flinch. Of course I'd somehow get rejected by him. "You should've told me this before. I-" I interrupt him. "You what? You would've been with me? Adam you married Nicole because you have some
kind of feelings for her. Maybe you thought you had feelings for me but it was actually her." I shrug. "Or maybe I thought I had feelings for her."

I look at him, my heart pounding in my chest. "You're married Adam, and I'm moving to Manhattan with Zack." I whisper. "Adam if you want me to stay you have to tell me." I add. "You know I can't. You said it yourself, I'm married." I felt heartbroken. "But I do want you to stay, but the decision is yours." I gulp down the lump in my throat.

"You can't say that Adam, because you know I'd stay for you and you can't just keep dragging me around." Tears rolled down my cheeks, I mentally thanked God for having it rain today, or else Adam would see how much I was actually crying. "You've dragged me along for so long. I barely started dating Adam, all because I was holding out, holding out for you." I shake my head, harshly laughing at how pathetic I felt. "I'm not blaming you for that, that was my own doing but still.. I finally found someone who I like and he wants a future for me and him, and I'm going to take it."

"I'm sorry Allison, sorry for not realizing what I could've had sooner." He says. "What now?" I ask. "There's nothing left to say now, besides that I hope he makes you happy, that he does what I would've wanted to do for you." I nod, biting my lip. "I'll see you later Adam.." I hold on to my bag tightly, feeling the tears rushing down my face.