In love with my best friend

Low

Sorry for the shitty chapter and slow update! Next one will be much sooner and much better i guess? Lol love you all! I'm so tired and feeling weird rn so night <3

~~~

"I don't understand why you couldn't of called me back, or at least text me!" Adam yells, throwing his keys on the counter as soon as we got into the house. "I don't know, I guess it just didn't cross my mind." I shrugged.

"Well didn't you get any of my messages? Or voicemails? Calls?" He asks, crossing his arms in a imitating matter.

I knew for a fact i had gotten all his messages and so on, I just chose to ignore them for reasons I couldn't explain myself. "Yes, I get it. I should've answered." I murmur, feeling defeated.

"Well? Is there a reason you couldn't answer me back? Is there a reason you didn't come home?" He asks, narrowing his eyes.

As if he didn't look intimidating before, he did now. "I just wanted time for myself."

"And you couldn't tell me that?" He sighs, shaking his head at me.

I felt horrible. Like I had done something completely wrong. I had done something kinda wrong but in my opinion, it wasn't the worst thing ever! He had no real reason to be this mad. "Did you forget you were suppose to pick up Boston today as well?" He asks.

I gasp slightly. I had totally forgotten. With my conversation with Katie and feeling so overwhelmed in general, I guess it just hadn't came to mind. "I forgot! I'm so sorry!"

He rolls his eyes at me. "Thanks, really. Now I probably won't get to see my son for another two weeks."

"I said I'm sorry Adam! I can't ever win with you!" I yell. "What do you mean? This isn't some game Allison! You can't just choose when you want to be responsible and when you don't!"

"Oh really? Like I'm irresponsible! You're the one who stupidly is ruining your fathers business because you married the wrong women! That's not me! And Boston is your child! Not mine so if you really wanted to see him, you could've gotten him! It's not my fault you half ass your job as a parent! And it's not my fault that you don't want full custody of your fucking child!"

I had no clue on what had gotten into me. Or why I was just spitting out things that could potentially ruin my relationship.

Maybe I didn't want it anymore.

"Seriously? That's low, even for you Allison." He grabs his keys off the counter before walking out of the house.

I sigh, dropping to the ground as I cried.

How the hell did my marriage come to a point where I didn't want it anymore? Where I was at the point of regretting it.

How the fuck did I manage to hate something I've been wanting for forever? Something that didn't seem real unless it was a dream. Now I wasn't even sure about it anymore.

~~~

Time seemed to stop over night. I attempted calling Adam a few times but figured there wasn't really a point to it.

I kept replaying what I said in my head, mentally cursing myself for being utterly stupid. I meant nothing I said. I just knew in the moment, they'd hurt him, and for some reason, in that moment, I wanted him to hurt instead of me.

As if everything that's been happening in our relationship has only hurt me. He's apart of it too. He's hurting like me, yet I'm too selfish to realize that. Maybe everything hasn't just been about me taking care of Adam, maybe in a way he's been taking care of me.