Just the two of us (book 2)

Chaper 56 Unexpected

Me and Marshall are just hanging out in his studio and it's so nice like usual, I really enjoy seeing him work as I find it very interesting. Marshall always had some kind of passion for music but this is a new way of seeing him, he's not just behind the mic anymore and doing the vocals, no he's also behind the sound now. Marshall has mostly just told me about his songs and the thoughts behind them today, as I've told you then I've never really listened to his songs because I did everything to avoid it. I couldn't stand the pain of hearing his voice or see him on TV, so I simply just avoided it. I now sit with his CD's in front of me and it's crazy that he's made these. We've already listened to The Slim Shady LP and I really liked "Rock Bottom" because it's just so personal, it's really how it was for Marshall. Now The Marshall Mathers LP is on and the song "The way I am" is playing.
"I like you being that aggressive, it's really fascinating." I say. I love how he turned his anger into art on this song and that's exactly what he should do. I think him making art out of all that anger he has build inside is better than therapy.
"At The Slim Shady LP all people saw me as this funny guy and I wanted to be taken seriously. I know I wasn't just the funny guy and I wanted to be unstoppable so I knew that I had to be more aggressive." Marshall explains.
"And It's really good." I say smiling as I look at the track list and I just can't take my eyes off her name, Kim.
"You named a song after her." I just can't hold it back anymore.
"Yeah and I think we're gonna skip that one." Marshall immediately says which makes me look at him. I wanna hear it also even though if it's a love song about her.
"Why? Marshall I won't get jealous if that's what you think." I promise him. I know that he loves me and a song can't change my perspective of that.
"Remember I told you that I made a song about her which drove her to attempt of suicide?" He asks me. Oh..
"Yes."
"That's the one and just the look of your face expression right now tells me that you're not ready to hear it." He claims. I haven't even noticed my frightened face expression, but I would lie if I said that it doesn't scare me. It scares me that he can be that strong in his words, it scares me that a strong woman as Kim is able to break because of his words.
"Tell me it's not as bad as I think." I say.
"I can't." He says. I wanna hear it, I need to hear it.
"I wanna hear it." I say.
"Amelia, please." He sighs and I know that he really doesn't want me to hear it.
"No Marshall. Or else I will wonder how bad it is and it's gonna eat me up inside eventually." I say putting my foot down.
"Alright but just remember that I was really hurt, she cheated on me and she found a new family, a family that Hailie had to be a part off." Marshall explains.
"Can we just play it now?" I ask as I really want to get it over with. I know there's a couple of numbers before we get there, but if we don't play it now then I know it's gonna hang in the air until we get to that number, so we might as well get it over with. Marshall sighs deeply as he skips to the track and just the start gives me chills, he's so cruel. It only gets worse and when I don't think it can get any worse then it does. I'm so lost for words because it scares me, it scares me a lot. I know that Kim can push his limits, she can push them even farther then I'll ever dare but I understand why Kim got suicidal after listening to this. If I felt humiliated on the radio interview, well then it can't possibly be bad considering how Kim must have felt after the release of this song.
"Please say something baby." Marshall says when the song is done. There's now no music playing at all, there's just complete silence as I don't have any words and I have to choose them wisely before I speak.
"What did you think when you chose to put that song on the record?" I ask.
"I thought I wanted to hurt her, like she had hurt me." Marshall says honestly.
"If you ever, EVER do something like that to me, I'll never talk to you again Marshall and I hope you know that." I give him a warning. I would never forgive him if he had done such a cruel song about me and let thousand of people listen to it.
"I know baby." He says softly.
"Have you ever apologized to her?" I ask him.
"I have." He says.
"Good and she has a really good heart if she forgave you for that." I say and I think this is the first time I've ever said anything nice about Kim.
"Is this gonna affect our relationship, Amelia?" He now asks me. I'm surprised and I'm disgusted about his action with this song but it ain't gonna affect anything between us. Marshall has told me how crazy it was for him to blow up the way he did, it all went so fast and I think that's the reason why he didn't really think shit through first. I believe that he's changed a lot since then and I know he has, if he hadn't then he would had said much crueler things about me in that interview.
"No." I say offering him a smile. "Just as long as you know that you're an asshole."
"I know I am baby and trust me, I'd never do that to you." He says and I really believe him, I do.
We return to listening through his albums and I really, really like The Eminem Show, it's a really great CD where he opens up a lot more.

"I think I'm gonna go visit Lucas." I say as we've sat in the studio for a few hours. I think me and Lucas need to solve some things out and now that my time in Detroit soon has come to an end, then I think it's time to pay him a visit.
"Even after those corny messages he send you?" Marshall asks and I can tell that he doesn't understand, why I want to spend time with him after that treatment he gave me.
"Yeah we need to solve this mess." I say and get up from the chair. "Then it gives you some times alone as well." I say and kiss him.
"I don't need time alone, I love having you around." He says.
"You're so sweet." I say and kiss him again. "I'll be back in a few hours." I say before I go out and get into Marshall's SUV. It's weird that I don't need him to drive me around anymore when I'm here in Detroit, now I can just leave the house as I like because the whole world knows that we're together. As I drive over to Lucas I can't help thinking about all the memories I have in this city, good and bad, mostly good actually, all memories I had outside home is pretty great though. I remember how me and Tasha used to skip school sometimes, just to go to the old theater and watch people battling each other. I remember how we all used to drive around in Detroit for hours, smoking blunts, drinking and just listening to music, we usually spend our Friday nights like that. I remember how we were challenging each other and pushing each other to the limits all the time, we were a great group because we generally just did a lot of shit but we had fun.

I arrive to Lucas apartment building and he doesn't even know I'm coming, so I sure hope that he's home or that he isn't busy or else I'm just gonna come by another day. I walk into the apartment building and I begin walking up the stairs, Lucas' apartment is on the 3rd floor so there's a lot of stairs. When I reach the stairs that goes up to 2nd floor then a man suddenly walks down the stairs, he looks at me and I recognize him; It's James.
We both freeze as we look each other in the eyes. What the fuck is he doing here? I know what he's doing here but why now? What do I do? I know he wants to hurt me, I know he's pissed at me and I know that I have to get away right now. I turn around and I jump those 3 steps I have down from the stairs, but I don't even get to the next staircase before I feel one hand around my mouth and another hand around my throat.