Just the two of us (book 2)

Chapter 78 Drugs

Next morning

I get out of bed and I have a really shitty hangovers. I turn over in the bed to feel Marshall but as I feel around on the sheet I discover that Marshall isn't here. I open my eyes and the bed is empty so I get out of bed and I walk out to the kitchen. I see Marshall bending over the kitchen counter and sniff some white powder into his nose. I know that he's doing drugs when he's partying and it's fine, no it's not fine but it's something that I can't control, but this.. This is definitely not okay. I know that he's gonna work today so why the fuck is he doing drugs in the early morning?
"Marshall what are you doing?" I ask him and he looks up. I can see that he didn't expect me to be up already and I can see that he's lost for words right now. He runs his fingers under his nose to remove the rest of the powder while he sniffs to get the rest up in his nose. I'm so disgusted by what I'm seeing right now but mostly I'm surprised. "Answer me." I now say.
"What does it look like?" He asks coldly giving me an attitude.
"Why the hell are you doing drugs when you're going to work soon? Are you fucking insane?" I ask him.
"I haven't got much sleep Amelia so I need some shit to keep me going." He says as he walks past me but I grab his arm because I'm not done with him.
"I'm not okay with this." I say.
"Who the fuck do you think you are Amelia? I'm a grown man and you don't get to be the fucking boss over me." He hisses. I really don't like this side of Marshall and it's a side I've seen before yes, but only when you really piss him off while he's fucked up. He has absolutely no good reason to talk that way to me. He told me that he didn't have an addiction when Kim told me about it but I maybe begin to think that Kim was right. It's not normal to get right out of bed and then cut a line.
"You told me that you didn't have an addiction when Kim told me about it!" I raise my voice now.
"I don't have a fucking addiction! It's the first time you've seen me doing this shit besides when we're partying! Will you fucking chill Amelia?!" He yells at me now.
"No! I don't think it's normal that you have to do drugs before you're going to the studio!" I yell.
"It was you who was on my fucking dick all night! Do you expect me to show up for work totally worn out?! You must be out of your god damn mind!" He gets in my face now.
"Do what you want." I say now as I walk through the kitchen to get out to the living room but I feel Marshall grab my arm and spin me around to face him. I really don't wanna argue with him right now because I know that in his condition I'm never gonna get him to listen.
"I'm not gonna have another bitch controlling my fucking life." He tells me.
"I'm not trying to control your life Marshall but I have limits and I don't wanna be with someone who has to cut a line before going to work." I make it clear to him.
"Do you think I'm some kind of fucking addict?" He frowns.
"You need it to go to work so yes that's an addiction." I say.
"You're fucking delusional you fucking bitch." He chuckles in sarcasm as he rolls his eyes.
"Why don't you just go to the studio Marshall?" I say rolling my eyes. I really don't wanna do this right now, I'm honestly too tired to deal with his fucking attitude right now. Marshall don't say anything, he just go into the bedroom and get dressed before he heads out of the door. I walk outside and look at the pool, the weather is so nice here on LA! I decide to go inside and put on a bikini so I can lay by the pool today. I need a day where I have to do absolutely nothing but relax. I haven't got much sleep because when me and Marshall came home drunk then we had sex for a lot of hours. You see, when Marshall is so fucked up like he was last night then he has a hard time coming and he can just keep going, so I'm really tired and a bit sore today.
When I've put on the bikini, I walk outside and sit at the edge of the pool and sink my feet down into the water. I don't get why Marshall is so attached to Detroit, I don't get why he just doesn't move to LA with the kids. It's fantastic here and there's better schools for the kids. On the other side I kinda feel him because I'll always have a soft spot for New York.
I look down at my phone now, I really need to talk to someone, specially because I need to talk to someone about this thing with me and Marshall, so I call Melissa.

"Hi." She says when she picks up the phone. I can tell by her tone that she's happy that I'm calling.
"Hi. What's up?" I ask.
"Nothing much. I'm just chilling on the couch. What about you?"
"I'm just sitting here by the pool."
"You lucky bitch. How's LA?"
"It's good."
"It doesn't sound so good, you sound sad. What's wrong?"
"Remember how I told you that Kim told me that Marshall has an addiction?"
"Yes."
"I think she was right."
"Why? What happened?"
"I caught Marshall sniffing some shit on the kitchen counter this morning and when I confronted him he went off on me."
"I thought he only did that shit when he's partying."
"Me too." I sigh.
"What did he say when you caught him?"
"He said that he had to take something to keep him awake because he needed to be fresh in the studio today. We were at a party last night so we didn't get much sleep."
"It's just weird, you know.. It's the first time you caught him doing this so maybe it really was the reason."
"I just think it's weird that he needs drugs to go to work."
"I totally agree but you haven't seen him doing it before like this, so maybe it really was a one time thing. I'm not trying to defend it sweetie but he's working hard so maybe it was a easy solution this time."
"But what about next time?"
"Do you think he has an addiction?" She asks and I don't know. If he had, wouldn't I then have noticed it before? Maybe Melissa is right, it's just a one time thing. Maybe I was too hard on Marshall because like he said; he can't meet up in the studio totally worn out.
"I couldn't imagine him being an addict." I say.
"Then why don't you just trust your instincts for now?"
"Omg.. I feel like such a bad girlfriend for mistrusting him like that." I sigh now.
"Hey it's okay honey. I think all would have been a little blown away about the fact that your boyfriend is doing drugs on the kitchen counter."
"Sometimes I just find out so many new things about him and then I can really feel that we haven't seen each other for 8 years."
"Don't you think he feels the same way sometimes?"
"I don't know. Marshall doesn't talk about those things."
"Maybe not but I think he does. Everyone changes and I'm sure you've changed a lot too."
"You're right." I say. Melissa is always good to talk to and even though I feel like we're slowly moving away from each other then I know that I can always call her. I love her so much and I don't hope that we end up growing apart.

Me and Melissa talk for an hour before we hang up and as soon as I hang up I then see a text from Rachel.

Rachel (10:47am)
I know that you don't care and I know that you don't wanna read this but I'm really sorry about how things ended between us the other day. I lost it and I admit that, but sometimes you can really push me to the limits. I didn't want to fall in love with John because it's just too difficult but I can't help my feelings. I just hope one day that you'll see that he makes me happy and he's a changed man. John loves you very much and he's aware of all the bad things he's cost you and your mother, but don't you think for one second that he doesn't feel bad about it, in fact it's eating him alive inside. I just wanna tell you that I'm sorry about the things that I did and said. I love you.

It's hard to receive these kind of texts from Rachel because she's hurt me so much. I love Rachel and she's the only family I have back but I can't be around her as long as she's seeing John. Things can't never be okay between us again because she's shown me that people like John is more important to her than me.
I just sit and look at the text, I read it over and over again and I don't know what to answer her, so I don't. I don't have anything to say to her because she's fucked me over so she doesn't deserve an answer.

During the whole day I just relax, I get some tanning and I just enjoy LA when it's best.
Suddenly when I lay on the couch late night and watching tv, Marshall comes home and he comes into the living room, he leans against the doorframe with his arms crossed over his chest.
"What are you watching?" He asks.
"Some lame movie." I say with a tiny smile. He now walks over and sit down at the opposite end of the couch than me, he leans forward and rest his arms on his knees as he turns his head looking at me.
"Do you think I'm an addict Amelia?" He asks me now.
"I've been asking myself that question all day." I sigh.
"And what's the answer?" He asks.
"I don't think you're an addict, I just think it surprised me because I've only seen you doing it at parties." I say.
"It's extremely rare I do it like I did this morning." He says.
"I believe you." I say softly.
"I'm sorry that I said those things man but I just felt disappointed because I thought you trusted me." He says.
"Like I said, I got surprised. But let's forget about it, I guess we both had a pretty bad morning." I say.
"Yeah." He says and moves over to me. He lays me down on the couch, lay himself behind me and holds me close. "I love you baby." He says and kisses my neck.
"I love you." I say.