Just the two of us (book 2)

Chapter 47 I want some space

I've been isolated myself for over a week now, my phone is turned off and I don't have any contact with anyone besides Rachel and I don't even talk that much with her. I know Marshall have tried to contact me, a lot actually but I've no interest in talking to him ever again.

The door suddenly cracks open into my room but I don't even bother to turn around and look at Rachel, she's just gonna try to make me go out or something and that's not gonna happen. I hear her gently walking across the floor towards the bed, I feel her lay down on the bed behind me... Wait.. That cologne.. A man cologne.. Marshall's cologne! This can't be real, I must be dreaming, I hope I'm dreaming because I don't want him in my room, I don't want him near me. I don't make any movement so maybe he'll think I'm sleeping and he'll get out. I feel him running a hand down my side and I just want him to go, what he did and said was so hurtful.
"Amelia." Marshall says.
"Get out Marshall." I say.
"Baby, talk to me." He says and pulls me against his body, I'm so tired and weak so I don't even fight it.
"There's nothing to talk about." I say in a low voice because I'm so close to break out in tears, but I refuse to cry in front of him, I refuse to let him know just how much he hurt me.
"I think there is." He says. I don't say anything, I just wish he would go away and get out of my life. I'm angry with Rachel right now, I'm so angry about her letting him in, I'm so angry that he thinks he can just lay himself down on my bed and think that we can talk about this. "I've come all the way to New York just to talk to you, nothing else." He says.
"That was a mistake." I say coldly.
"I'm sorry about what I said on that interview." He says but I couldn't care less about his apology right now, what's done is done, what's said is said.
"I hope you are." I say.
"I am and I wanna do another interview where I explain things, I wanna let the world know that I didn't mean that shit." He says and I get so angry that I get up from the bed now to look right at him.
"No Marshall! You can't take back what you said so you can go fuck yourself! I don't want you any near me, I don't want you in my life anymore, I fucking wish you never came back into my life and fucked things up!" I scream at him with tears running down my face and Marshall stands up as well now, so now we stand on each side of the bed.
"You don't mean that baby." He says and I can see how much my words hurts him, to be honest.. It feels good.
"Don't you fucking baby me, I fucking mean it! I had a happy life, I was about to get married and you came into my life again and made me think that this relationship could work and it would have worked if you haven't become such a stuck up asshole! I gave up everything for you, everything!" I scream.
"So you wish that you could still be with Kevin?" He asks frowning his brows. I just wanna hurt him so bad, so bad that he never wants to talk to me again.
"Yeah! I gave everything up for a guy who doesn't trust me, my life has been nothing but shit since you walked back into it again, I gave up a perfect life to be with a guy who doesn't know how to treat me right!" I scream at him.
"Fuck you! I've done everything for you!" He screams at me now. I can see that I've hurt him now, I can see that he's just about to lose it because his whole body is so tensed now.
"Like what?" I ask him. This is exactly why I didn't want him to do anything for me, I don't want a guy once again to use it against me.
"I've been your fucking shoulder to cry on, even though it hurt like a bitch that you used my shoulder to cry on because of Kevin, I was there anyways! I was there with you when you had to face James again, I'm having a fucking court case over my head because I protected you!" He yells. Marshall surprises me because he didn't mentioned the fact that he's the reason why I have a place to live now.
"What does it matter when you don't trust me?" I ask him in a calm tone.
"What does it matter when you wish that you had never left Kevin?" He asks me in the same calm tone and I can see he's about to cry.
"I only said that because you don't trust me." I say.
"What were you doing at Kevin's that day?" He asks me. Now he wanna listen?
"You didn't wanna listen to me that day Marshall, so why should I tell you now?" I ask him.
"Why can't you just answer the question?" He asks me.
"I just needed a friend Marshall so yeah.. I stopped by Kevin and we just talked." I tell him.
"About what?"
"About all the mess with Dan." I say.
"You think it's cool to talk to your ex about what the fuck we're going through? You think it's cool that you're in his fucking house for 4 hours?! How the fuck would you feel if it was the other way around?!" He asks.
"So talking shit about me on a radio station is much better?!" I ask him.
"I've would never have said that shit if you haven't gone to his house! Besides I've told you that I'm gonna make a public apology!" He yells. I get angry that he gives me the fault for his actions, I'm fucking pissed that he doesn't get that I don't want his apology, so I take a pillow and throw it in his face.
"I don't want your fucking apology!" I scream at him again.
"So what do you want Amelia?" He asks.
"I want you to leave me the fuck alone and never contact me again!" I yell as a throw another pillow at him.
"Don't say that." He says and I can see his tears are just about to fall.
"LEAVE!" I scream in tears as I throw a candlestick at him this time but he avoids it.
"NO!" He fights me back. "I want you to come with me to Detroit, Amelia come on man.. I fucking love you." He begs. Now I just throw everything after him I can find; books, candles, dvd's, cd's and so on.
"I fucking hate you!" I scream in tears. A few things hit him as he now walks towards me, he takes the book I'm about to throw at him out of my hand, he then throws me on the bed and sits on top of me and holding me down so I can't move at all.
"Amelia will you fucking chill?!" He asks me when I do everything I can in my power to come free but without any luck. "You're acting like I've fucked another bitch! Will you quit being so fucking dramatic?!" He asks me.
"You don't trust me Marshall, you clearly don't think at me as your girlfriend and I'm just a bitch you fuck!" I say.
"You know that ain't true baby." He says.
"I'm not your baby Marshall, we're fucking done!" As I say those words I can feel his hands tighten on my wrists in anger, I know it hurts him and I know it pisses him off but he said some shit about me on the radio and because of what? Because I visited Kevin. We're gonna face some way bigger problems than that and I can't trust that he won't do this to me again then.
"Don't say shit like that if you don't mean it." He hisses.
"You don't think I mean it? Watch me! I told you I've changed, I won't put up with shit like that!"
"How come you're so fucking blind to your own actions Amelia?! Can't you just admit that it was a fucking bad move to visit Kevin? Why the fuck do you have to be so fucking stubborn?! I wanna give you everything, I wanna do everything for you so why the fuck do you have to be like this?!" His voice cracks now as he screams at me and his eyes are watery again. I feel bad now, because when Marshall breaks like this then he's really broken. I'm angry about what he did but I have to admit that visiting Kevin was a bad idea, specially when I still feel that way about him. I still wanna be able to see Kevin but it should be something I discuss with Marshall first.
"I want a public apology." I then say in a calm tone and I feel his hands loosen his grip on wrists.
"I already told you that I wanna give you that." He says.
"And I want you to give me some space." I say and I can already see of the look on his face that that request doesn't please him.
"I want you with me to Detroit." He says and I just shakes my head as I start crying.
"No I need some space from you Marshall." I cry.
"Please baby... I promise you'll feel better if you come with me, I can't make you feel better when we're apart." He says in a soft tone.
"But I can't be any near you right now."
"My house is big enough for us to be apart. Amelia please come with me to Detroit." He begs and I just shake my head as the tears run down my face. "Just consider it please.. I'll give you some space and I'll be back tomorrow, then you can decide if you wanna come with me or not." He says and kisses my forehead before he removes himself for me. "I love you." He says before he walks out of the door.