Just the two of us (book 2)

Chapter 81 Panic attack

I just wanna say thanks to those who shared where they come from on my last chapter. Remember if you have any questions for me then I'll be happy to answer :)

Next day

Marshall slept on the couch last night so I wake up alone in my bed. I kinda expected that as I know that Marshall needs time to swallow this but I'm not gonna change my mind. He'll be okay with it eventually as he finds out that me and Kevin ain't gonna have much contact and I'm gonna be much happier with keeping myself busy.

I get out of bed, go to the bathroom and do my things before I head downstairs to the kitchen. I wonder if Marshall is in the studio or something.. I hate when we're like this, I don't like to have this disagreements with him.
I drink a glass of orange juice before I begin to look for Marshall, but he's literally nowhere to be found. Where is he? I go outside and one of his cars is gone. Why haven't he left a note or something? I grab my phone and call him but he doesn't pick up so I send him a text.

To Marshall (10:09am)
Where are you?

Marshall doesn't answer so I just begin to watch a movie and I few hours later he finally answers.

Marshall (01:34pm)
Out

It's obvious that he's still angry.

Reply to Marshall (01:36pm)
When are you home?

Marshall (01:41pm)
Don't know

Reply to Marshall (01:44pm)
Marshall please don't be like that

I don't hear a single thing from him the whole day. It's so hard when he acts like this, it really hurts me and it makes me very sad. I don't think I've done anything wrong, I just made a decision that I know that's best for me. I know that it irritates Marshall because he's jealous about me becoming partner with Kevin but doesn't he trust me? Doesn't he want me to be independent?

When Marshall still haven't come home late night, I just decide to go to bed. I hope that Marshall is gonna sleep in the bed with me tonight because I don't think I can bare another night without him. I try to go to sleep but I can't because 1000 of thoughts are going through my mind; where is he? Does he hate me now? Is he going to break up with me? Is he with another girl? Why isn't he home yet? Thoughts like that..

Suddenly the front door goes up downstairs. I hear him lay his keys down on the stand and walk into the living room. I lay here waiting for him to come upstairs but he doesn't, so I get out of bed and go downstairs. I don't want us to be like this, I really need him and I feel so broken when we're like this. I walk into the living room and Marshall lays on the couch watching football, his eyes looks up at me when I walk into the living room only wearing his shirt, but his eyes only looks at me shortly before he return his eyes to the screen again.
"Where have you been?" I ask him.
"The studio." He says coldly and he doesn't even bother to look at me.
"Why didn't you just tell me that?" I ask. There was no reason to make me as nervous as he did.
"Because it's really non of your business." He says coldly again and again he doesn't look at me.
"Marshall I know that.."
"Just go to bed Amelia." He cuts me off. "I don't wanna do this right now. I'm fucking exhausted."
"You're making me upset Marshall." I say and my voice shakes because I'm so close to tears. Marshall now looks at me with a not very nice look.
"You're upset?" He asks but he doesn't give me chance to answer before he speaks again. "Then how the fuck do you think I feel?"
"Don't you trust me?" I ask.
"No Amelia because I don't fucking underhand why it's so fucking hard for you to stay away from that motherfucker when you claim not to be in love with him." He says. He really doesn't get it.. I won't lie. I still have feelings for Kevin but I'm not gonna tell Marshall that, but I won't ever give Marshall up because my love for Marshall is bigger than it ever has been for other guys. Kevin is just a really good friend to me, he's easy to talk to and we've worked hard for those clubs so it only makes sense that we're partners even though we aren't engaged anymore.
"You don't understand.."
"I told you that I don't want to do this right now." He cuts me off.
"I don't care Marshall. I don't want this. I don't want us to be like this. I want you in the bed with me. I need you." I say.
"You should have thought of that before you went behind my back once again." He says.
"Marshall I just secure my future." I explain.
"I'm not gonna explain all over again how you could have avoided this shit, so now you're gonna feel how it feels to cross me." He says. I can feel myself getting angry about his attitude. Does he think that he controls me? He shouldn't think for one second that he can be the boss over me like that and "teach" me a lesson by being so cruel.
"Do you think you control me?" I frown and Marshall just looks at me with s cold stare but he doesn't answer me. "You may be the boss over a lot of people in your everyday life but don't you fucking get it mixed up! You should know me better then to try to control me!" I raise my voice now.
"I just think there should be some fucking clear limits in a relationship, limits your partner shouldn't fucking cross!" He says and he now sits up.
"Exactly!" I say because I think he's crossing my limits by trying to control me.
"I haven't crossed any fucking line!"
"You're trying to control me!" I yell.
"You know what Amelia? You don't fucking get it so just go to bed." He rolls his eyes and lays down again.
"I'm gonna start working Monday and there ain't shit you can do about it Marshall. Give me the cold shoulder or whatever because I'm not gonna change my mind." I say.
"I don't give a fuck anymore." He says and turns his eyes to the tv again. What does he mean that he doesn't give a fuck anymore?
"What is that suppose to mean?" I ask.
"That I don't give a fuck." He repeats himself and his eyes are still lock on the screen.
"So you don't give a fuck about me?" I ask.
"Why should I?" He asks and that one hurt.
"Because I'm your fucking girlfriend Marshall!" I raise my voice at him.
"But you don't give a fuck about me so why should I give a fuck about you?" He asks and it annoys me that he won't even look at me.
"That's not true and you know it." I say.
"If you don't respect me then you simply don't give a fuck about me." He says.
"There's a big difference Marshall. I do respect you but I refuse to let you control me like that just because you're jealous." I say.
"Amelia." He says in a very serious tone and look at me. "Just fuck off. You irritate the fuck out of me right now." His words hurt so much and I really need to get away from him right now. I can't be under the same roof as him when he's in this mood. I just walk out to the hallway and I see Marshall's car keys laying there for his Mercedes so I take them, I need to get away from this house right now. "Amelia?" I hear Marshall say from the living room as he hears the keys being picked up from the stand, but I ignore him and walk in the detection of the door. "Amelia!" He says louder this time and I hear him get up from the couch so I open the door. "Don't even fucking dare Amelia!" I run out to the car now and get into it. I see Marshall in the rearview mirror so I put my foot on the gas and hurry down to the gates. I see Marshall running after the car but I don't even care, I need to get away from here right now.I drive through the gates as they open and I then I drive away from the house. I know Marshall is gonna be beyond pissed and I know I've really pissed him off this time because this is his favorite car. I drive through Detroit and I wonder where I should go because I don't really have a place to go. I feel so fucking alone right now! If I was in New York then I'd have plenty of places to go but in this city I only have broken friendships. Suddenly I find myself getting closer to Lucas' block so I decide that maybe I should pay him a visit. I know that our relationship is complicated right now because me and Tasha have some disagreements. I park outside his block, I walk into the building and I begin to walk on the stairs. When I reach the 1st floor I can feel my heart beating becoming faster and I can feel myself getting scared. What is happening to me? I now get flashbacks of the day when James kidnapped me. I see him coming down from the stairs and I feel his hand around my throat.. I can't breathe.. I sit down on the stairs trying to catch my breath. I can't breathe.. I'm panicking and I'm crying now.. I can't breathe.. I hear the door swing open downstairs and I get scared, what if it's him? I wanna run but I can't move. I'm panicking! I close my eyes and I get dizzy and I'm crying so hard as I try to catch my breath. I feel someone grab me now and I'm screaming now, I don't know where all this air suddenly comes from but I'm screaming and struggling. I don't wanna risk being hurt again so I scream from the top of my lungs.
"Amelia shh.. Relax baby.." I hear Marshall voice and my screaming is just turning into crying now. I still don't open my eyes, I just bury my head into his chest and I hold on to him because I'm so scared that he's gonna let go of me. My heart is beating so fast and hard that it actually hurts. "I'm here baby." Marshall tries to calm me down at it's working. Now I hear someone running down the stairs and I get scared, I get scared that it's someone who wants to hurt me so I dig my nails into Marshall's hips but he doesn't even complain.
"What's going on?" Lucas asks behind me.
"I think she wanted to pay you a visit but it seems like she had a panic attack." Marshall explains.
"She's only wearing your t-shirt and it's almost midnight, what the fuck is going on?" Lucas asks and I know that he knows there's something more to it.
"We had an argument, alright?" Marshall says and he sounds irritated in his tone. "She stole my fucking Mercedes so I followed her." I feel Lucas' hand on my back now.
"Are you alright sis?" Lucas asks me and I just nod my head against Marshall's chest. "What did you do to make her so upset that she stole your car?" Lucas asks Marshall in a blaming tone. I wanna say something but I still can't speak as I'm still trying to catch my breath.
"Yo, you fucking know her so drop that bullshit." Marshall says.
"Exactly, I know her. So what the fuck happened?" Lucas asks. Lucas is a very overprotective big brother so right now it's obvious that he's angry with Marshall because he made me upset.
"Are you really gonna pick a fucking fight with me right now?" Marshall asks. Lucas doesn't answer so there's a minute of silence and I feel very awkward. "I don't think Amelia is in the condition of driving so would you mind driving the SUV?" Marshall breaks the silence.
"Yeah." Lucas says coldly. "I'm just gonna go upstairs and get Tasha so she can take her car, so I can get home." He says and I can hear Marshall hand him the car keys.
Marshall gets up and I still won't let go of him so he carries me down to the car. I'm so tired now from my panic attack that I just wanna go to sleep. Marshall puts me into the car and walk around the car himself to get in on the driver seat. I feel so embarrassed right now, I feel embarrassed for stealing his car and my panic attack. Marshall begins to drive and there's silence for a couple of minutes before he finally breaks it.
"Are you okay baby?" He asks as he rubs my thigh.
"I'm sorry." I begin to cry now.
"Hey.. Don't.. It's cool." He tries to calm me down. I wanna say something but I'm just too exhausted to speak. When we get home, Marshall helps me out of the car and carries me to bed.
"I love you." He says as he lays down behind me and cuddle with me.
"About Kevin.."
"Please not now baby." He cuts me off. I really wanna talk about it because it's what started all this but I'm also too exhausted and so is Marshall.