Centre of His World

Chapter 4

The guys have been pushing their butts, trying to set up this bonfire that Luke was so desperate to have. Why they had stopped was because Luke had started hyperventilating. He couldn't breathe and his heart was beating fast. Setting up for the bonfire reminded him too much of May and he didn't know if he'd be able to handle it.

Luke's eyes stung from the amount of tears he'd been crying. He wanted May back more than anything else in the world. He couldn't do it anymore. He couldn't take the heat. He was so done. He tried to stay strong, but all that did was seem to make things worse.

Now, Luke was laying in his bed, tears staining his pillowcase. He watched home videos of just him and May. The wedding video, the honeymoon video, the pregnancy diary. He watched the videos all day. It was in that moment that he vowed to never make anymore videos again and to play them for Kelly as often as he could.

That's what hurt him the most, knowing that his daughter will never meet her mother. What was he suppose to do? How was he suppose to teach his daughter about her mother, the love his life, without breaking down? It hurt him just to think about her and know that he'll never get to see her beautiful face again.

There was a knock on his door, and Carter peeked through. "Luke, you okay?"

Luke paused his wedding video and sat up. "Not really. This whole room reminds me of May. This is where she got pregnant. Where her life started to end."

Carter shook his head. "Are you blaming yourself? Luke, it's not your fault that May died."

"Yes, it is," Luke insisted.

"No, it isn't," Carter argued. "May died, because her time was up."

Luke scoffed. "But if I hadn't got her pregnant, then May would still be here."

"But Kelly wouldn't. Listen, Luke, you can't say things like that. I know it hurts. I can't even begin to imagine the pain that you're going through, but you need to remember that life is short, and that not everything goes the way you want or should. Face it, Luke, you'll never be truly happy again until you learn to forgive yourself."

Luke looked away, not wanting to say anything. Not knowing what to say. Was Carter right? Perhaps, but then again, maybe not. Carter placed his hand on Luke's shoulder. "I know it's gonna be hard, Luke. You lost your wife, but you're like a brother to me and I don't want to see you hurt. I love you, Luke. So many people love you and you are not alone, no matter what you think. Don't think we don't want to help, we do."

"I know..." Luke trailed off, his voice cracking as he eyed a picture of May and himself.

"You're not alone, just remember that," Carter whispered. "You'll never be alone."

Carter slowly got up and left the room. Luke turned back to the screen and played his wedding video again. It's hard to believe that she was really gone. Luke wiped a few tears from his eyes as he watched their first dance together as a married couple. He'd be lying if he said he wasn't heartbroken over May's death. He has stay strong for far too long. It was about time he let his feelings loose before he ended up hurting someone.

Kent walked into Luke's room with a crying Kelly. He handed her over to Luke, who took her with a smile. He cradled her in his arms and started talking to her. "What's wrong, Kelly? Don't you like Uncle Kent?"

Kent rolled his eyes and sat down on the bed. "I can't believe this! She's not crying anymore. All it took was for her to be in Daddy's arms."

Luke shook his head. "Actually, no. It's May's voice from the TV. She hears her voice, and BAM, she's peacefully lulling herself to sleep."