Come And Save Me, Tonight.

What It Takes

I shot up out of bed, sweat dripping off of me, breathing heavily. 

Another bad dream. I don't know why they keep happening. They were gone when Steven and I started dating, and now they're back. But why? It was another dream about a gun, and me jumping infront of Steven. But that already happened, so I was probably just having bad memory dreams or something.

I looked at the clock; 5:49 am December 18th. It's pretty early, but I couldn't fall back asleep, so I decided to shower.

Once I got out of the shower, I changed into leggings and a fluffy sweater, grabbed my laptop, and headed down the stairs and into the kitchen. I made myself a warm cup of tea, and began to search online for things I should buy Steven for Christmas. I know it was a little late for that, but hey, better late than never. 

I eventually came across a beautiful, elaborately embroidered scrap book. I knew it wouldn't live up to whatever Steven was gonna buy me, but It was from the heart, so i guess he would like it. I found the store they were selling it at, and decided to run out and buy it. I looked online for the times the store opened and it said from 7-11; I turned, at looked at the clock. 6:45. Perfect, by the time I got my shoes on, and drove into uptown L.A, it would be opened.

I put my boots on, and grabbed my keys for Zip, and quietly slipped out the door. 

Just as I came off the exit, and turned the corner, the clock hit 7:00, and the store opened. 

I found it on the end of the street, and parked my little mini coop right outside. 

I looked up at the sign and chuckled. The store was called 'Sweet Emotions, handcrafted designs and antiques.'

I strolled in, and immediately found the scrapbook I was looking for, and as I turned to reach the register, something caught my eye.

Hanging on a rack at the end of the isle was a beautiful red, orange, yellow, and gold scarf. It reminded me of a sunset, and the first concert I ever saw Steven play, back in Hawaii. 

I immediately grabbed it and went to pay for the items.

I saw a sign up at the register that said, 'We Do Embroidery'

"Excuse me, Ma'am?" I said to the older woman behind the counter.

"Why, yes Dear?" She smiled at me.

"Would you be able to Embrioder this scarf for me?" I asked, handing her the long stretch of fabric.

"Of course Dear! What would you like on it, and what color?" She chuckled

I thought for a moment. Stevens favorite color is red, but there's already red on the scarf. Should I just get it in black then?

"Um.. I guess I'll get it in black, and could it possibly say, 'Steven Tyler + Mia Lynn Parker' Or would that be too cheesy? I'm trying to get him a nice present for Christmas bu-" The woman cut me off

"Steven Tyler?!" She gaped

"Yeah," I chuckled "He's my boyfriend." 

"Oh, honey, get in line, I've been saying that for 7 years." She laughed

"No, but I'm actually his girlfriend." I laughed, and took out my phone. I found the picture of us that we took on our first official date, of him, and I kissing. I then, showed her the picture, and she instantly became bright red.

"Oh, sugar, I'm so sorry. I didn't mean any disrespect." She stammered, embarrassed.

"Oh, don't worry about it, I get that all the time." I giggled. "But, yeah, I wanna get him something nice, so I figured, why not get him a personalized scarf." I turned our attention back to the gifts I was buying.

"Okay.. so black lettering, and it's gonna say 'Steven Tyler and Mia Lynn Parker', Right, Dear?" She assured me. 

"Yep!" I giggled, excited about our first Christmas together. 

The woman hobbled away to a back room, and emerged about 15 minutes later, with the scarf embroidered, and looking beautiful.

When she was finished ringing me up, she apologized once more for not believing me. I assured her that I took no offense and then I drove home, giddy with excitement about Steven's gifts. 

I pulled into the driveway, and walked into the house. I left my gifts in the trunk, because I didn't want Steven to suspect something.

I walked into the house, and back into the kitchen, and began to make myself some more tea. All of a sudden, I felt jittery and on-edge again. A little while later, Steven woke up and came into the kitchen. Something about his mood or his questions irritated me, but I couldn't put my finger on what it was. 

"So where were you, missy?" He asked

"Ohh, I had to run to the store to pick something up." I lied.

"Oh...okay. Well you could've told me you were leaving." He joked

"I'm sorry, I didn't know I needed to inform you of my every move, mother." I snapped

"Jesus, Baby, I was joking." He eyed me warily. "Are you alright? You seem on-edg-" I cut him off

"I'm fine Steven." I hissed. I felt another panic attack coming on. I don't know why I keep getting them, but I was getting tired of them. 

"Baby," Steven sounded worried. "You're shaking. Are you okay? Come here."

I put my hands down on the counter, and breathed in deeply, trying to calm myself down.

"Baby, please just come her-" 

"Damn it Steven. Do I look like I need help?" It came out a little more harsh than I expected, but I needed to prove my point. "I don't need a knight in shining fucking armour! I don't need you to 'save' me, Steven. I'm not some fucking damsel in distress. I can take care of myself!" I yelled, and stormed out of the room.

I don't know where that came from or what the fuck my problem was, but I needed to calm down. 

I stormed into my zen garden, slammed the doors, and instantly started pacing around the gazeebo.

Eventually, I sat down in front of the Bhudda and began meditating. 

About an hour or two later, I was calm enough to realize my mistakes and I got up to go apologize to Steven.

"Babe?" I called out, expecting an answer, but I didn't recieve one. 

"Babe... you there?" I called again.

"Babe... look, I'm sorry. Please talk to me?" I called one final time.

I went into the kitchen and found a note on the counter.

'You may not need saving, but I do. ST' 

Tears welled up in my eyes.

What did I do?