Come And Save Me, Tonight.

You Made Me Slip Into The Grind

I swear sometimes I'm so stupid, I couldn't control my own body. I instantly pulled away, realizing what I had done. I got up, grabbed my stuff, and left in a hurry, calling over my shoulder, "oh my god, I'm so sorry, I- I- I don't know why I did that. I have to go. I'm so sorry. God I'm so stupid. Bye."

and I ran out of the cafe before he could stop me. 

When I got home, which didn't take long because my apartment is only a few blocks from the cafe, I locked myself in my room and screamed into a pillow. I started shaking uncontrollably, and breathing really heavily. I was having a panic attack. I knew it. 
     When I was a little girl, I was diagnosed with anxiety problems. Eventually, as I got older, or well, old enough, to realize that all of my problems could be solved one way or another, I search for answers. I search and searched, and didn't stop until I found one. And that's the story of how I became a Bhuddist. I read all about meditation, and how the Bhudda's teaching could have such a calming influence on one's life. 
   So I did the one thing I could that I knew would calm me down. I went into the very cramped, gypsy-esque, recording studio that Lauren and I built into our apartment, burned some insence, and meditated. about an hour later. I opened my eyes, scrambled to my feet, and grabbed a paper and pen. I scribbled the lyrics I've been thinking of for the past hour down onto the paper, and rushed to the corner and grabbed my guitar. I went over to the recording knobs, and pushed the red button which immediately began recording every sound I made. Then, I started strumming out a bluesy kind of tune, and began to sing.
 
 " I never thought a first time love would ever last

How could a kiss like that, knock me flat on my ass

The burning bed, the roses dead 
And now I'm dancing with myself

Yeeaahh, I'm missing you
just like you want me to,
you made me trip into the grind
now I can't get you off of my mind."