It's His Hair

.19. Life from a New Perspective

*Brendon*
!Yay he's back!

Her dreams got worse. To the point where she was screaming at the top of her lungs and I couldn't stop it. I didn't know what they were or what was causing them. She wouldn't tell me, but by the way she would scream, kick and cry, it must have been horrifying. It was every night now, every night of hearing her scream and cry, not knowing how to soothe her.

She stopped trying. I noticed how difficult it was for her to get out of bed every morning. She went to the studio and came back silently just going into her music room and not coming back out for hours. I was scared. I didn't know what she was doing, and my whole heart was full of worry for her. I love her more than anything else I have every loved in my life.

"Jamie?" I said opening he door to her music room. I had practically become a permanent fixture at their house, and we usually had fun. Apparently Kenny and Annie were together, so we would have couple movie nights and stuff. She was huddled up in the corner of the room with her guitar clutched in her lap. Her eyes were red and she had scratch marks all over her arms. I ran over to her and held her close. She started crying as soon as I touched her. "Heyheyhey... It's okay, but babe you need to tell me what is going on so I can help you." I said rubbing her back. She leaned into me with her tears soaking into my shirt.

"I'm so sorry." She muttered in between sobs. She was clutching on to my shirt and holding me so close to her I could feel her heart beating. "Oh my god. I am so fucking sorry."

"Babe...babe, don't apologize." I said calmly still rubbing her back. "Let's get you in bed. You need to sleep." She nodded her head and I picked her up bridal style carrying her to her room and tucking her in.

"Stay with me for a little bit." She cried pulling me close to her. She cuddled up into me with silent tears falling from her eyes.

"Don't cry anymore baby." Her cries turned to sniffles as I held her close, and soon she rolled over and fell asleep. At this point I was itching for a smoke so I went outside and lit up. The sun was just setting over the city, and from her little deck off of her house you could see the colors fading over the hills and city. I had come to love this view. Sometimes Jamie and I would sit out here for hours drinking coffee or a couple beers, just watching the sun and the stars.

"Roll me one..." I heard her say.

"Sure?"

"Yeah." Her eyes were still red and her hands were shaking. I rolled her a joint and she took it from me before taking the lighter from me and lighting up.

"H-have you..." I started. She was smoking like a professional, but never in our month of being together had I seen her smoke.

"Yes I have done this before." She said. I could tell she was kind of irritated. She took a drag and blew the smoke out with extreme grace. By the way she closed her eyes and took the next breath I knew it had been a long time. So we stood there watching the sun set, and smoking our joints. We eventually retreated to our usual spot on the railing of the deck and tangled our fingers together.

"Do you want to talk about it?" I asked her pressing a kiss to her temple. She looked at me and then to her lap.

"Not really." She whispered.

"Jamie..."

"Brendon, this is something that I have to fight on my own." She said locking her eyes with mine. "I don't know what happened or what brought it up again, but I will be okay."

"Okay. I trust you, but please-"

"When I am ready Bren." She said cutting me off. I could see how uncomfortable she was with this subject, so I dropped it. I just wanted her to be okay. That's all I wanted. She had made me live my life from a new perspective. Every day was different, and I loved it.

"Okay," I responded sheepishly.

"I'm really sorry."

"Don't apologize love, it's nothing you can control." I said taking her hand and leading her inside. She smiled and kept walking with me. We plopped down on the couch, and I turned on the tv putting on our favorite channel of cartoons. "I love you Jamie you know that right?"

"I don't know..." She responded knowing what she was doing.

"Really?" I asked batting my eyelashes.

"Prove it to me."

Ooh. The tension...

No one said anything at all abut the last chapter, so I don't even know guys. PLEASE COMMENT! I need you guys. Ha, ha. There won't be anything smutty in the next chapter so ya know. LOVE YOU.

COMMENT....