It's His Hair

.20. We Exchange Smoke Rings

"Jaaammmmmiiiieee!" Brendon groaned. We were laying on my bed together just simply being. "I don't want to go to the studio..." He pouted.

"Don't you get to be a demon today?" I asked him happily. My head was in his lap and his hand was in my hair making a rats nest out of it.

"YEAH!" He yelled almost pushing me off the bed and jumping around the room like a two year old. "OH MY GOD! Fuck yeah!" I smiled at him and pulled him back to me. He collapsed onto my bed and I pulled him to me. He wriggled around trying to get away from me.

"Brendon..." I said placing a finger on his lips. His eyes crossed as he tried to look at it. "Brendon love calm down."

"Why?" He said his voice dropping an octave lower. I moved my finger and kissed his jawline slowly spacing my kisses out to drive him insane. I kissed behind his ear an then quickly kissing his perfectly perfect lips.

"I. Love. You." I said in between kisses. He placed both his hands on the side of my face pulling me back to him.

"I love you too..." He said smugly.

"Good." I said before climbing off of him and leaving the room. "I'll make some breakfast, take a shower."

"Okay ma!" He yelled as I left the room before slapping my ass playfully. I went downstairs, started listening to Muse, and focused on the breakfast ahead of me.
•••
"J, let me buy you a drink." Jacob asked me as we were packing up the van. We had just played our first gig at a local bar after their album finished. Outside the bar you could still hear the hum of the old bluegrass music and the clanking of glasses. If was so loud, but so quiet at the same time.

"Okay." I said pulling out the joint I had rolled earlier. I lit up and sank down to the dirty concrete.

"When did you start smoking pot?" He asked me holding out his hand. I handed him the joint and he took a drag before blowing out smoke rings.

"Last week I started up again. I've been having a lot of stress lately." I responded simply resting my hand on my knee an tapping out the extra ashes.

"That stuff is good." He said gesturing to my hand.

"Bren has some good connections."

"No der..."

"Are you guys ready for this tour?" I asked putting out the joint.

"Fuck yeah! I am so fucking excited..." He said standing up and offering me his hand. I got up and we walked back into the bar.

"The first date is in 10 days!" I said wiggling my fingers in the air. He practically squealed before ordering two doubles of whiskey. We tapped glasses and downed the shot in one go.

"To going on tour with Panic! At the Disco!" He said raising the other glass in the air. I raised mine and we took the other shot. We sat for about an hour more just talking about the little things. Him and his girl drama. I swear this guy got a new girlfriend everyday, he would fall head over heels in love and then the next minute he loved someone else. Jake and I had gotten really close over the last few weeks. Considering that I was playing their gigs for them until they got a drummer meant I was spending a crap ton of time with them, so we got really close. He was just about a year younger than me, but he felt like my little brother.

"I bet Bren is home from filming today I should go." I said grabbing my purse and rolling another joint.

"Alright. See you soon." He said getting up and leaving the bar. I walked out and put my headphones in. The walk home wasn't long, and seemed even shorter with the company of my weed and music. I lit up and soon enough I was in my driveway trying to get the door open. Between my purse and other various things I was having a had time getting the door open. Annie must have heard me because the door swung open and she stood there other a huge smile on her face. I tried to pull the joint out of my mouth before she saw it, but failed miserably. Her smile faded and she stared at me with piercing eyes.

"What the hell Jamie?!" She yelled yanking me into the house. She grabbed the joint out of my mouth and threw it on the porch putting it out. I looked down at my feet in shame. I knew I shouldn't be smoking. "How could you? You were doing so good!"

"I'm sorry, but they came back! The dreams Annie! I can't stop them." By this time I was sobbing with ugly tears tearing through my makeup. "I'm so fucking sorry!"

"Stop it!" She yelled. "Just- ugh god!"

I just stared holes into my jeans. I am so pathetic. A junkie, drug addict, I am weak.

"You are so much better than this Jamie! I can't keep doing this for you..."

"You don't fucking have to!" I retorted. "You don't have to act like my fucking mother! You chose it Annie, I never wanted to put this on you!" I yelled weakly.

"You're right, you know want? You want to go back to that? Do it..." She rolled her eyes at me an left me on the floor as she walked back up the stairs to her room. I rested my head on the floor and let the tears fall down my face. I stared straight ahead at nothing in particular. Eventually Brendon came home and I pretended to be asleep. How I would explain that I fell asleep on the couch would be difficult, but I don't give a fuck. I am tired of this. Tired of living like this. I need help. I need someone that gets it. Im so tired. So done with everything. I felt Brendon drop me lightly on my bed before he cuddled up against me.

"Bren?" I stated.

"Hmm.." He moaned rolling over and facing me.

"I need you to make sure I never smoke again."

"Why?" He asked sitting up and propping his chin on the palm of his hand.

"I think it's time I told you something..."