It's His Hair

.30. Thnks fr th Mmrs

Oh my god! 30 chapters of this my loves! Thank you for sticking around for so long! Even with the amount of reads I have gotten I am so glad to have you! I LOVE YOU SO MUCH!

(This chapter is really sad. I cried a few times while writing it, so if you are sensitive please skip it) ps. Please play the video. Thank you loves.

*Jamie*
When I woke up my whole body hurt. My hands were bandaged, my head ached, and my heart was broken. My stomach clenched and I ran to the bathroom throwing up its contents into the toilet bowl. Tears pricked the back of my eyes as I slumped against the door. I remembered him. That first night; the feeling of his hair through my fingers. I remembered jokes shared on that filthy couch after tucking Spencer and Dallon into bed, and our Spongebob marathon. I thought about that ball and the dress that made me feel so beautiful. I remembered every kiss. The touch of his calloused hands on my body. His voice whispering in my ear, hours in my music room, him singing to me, nights spent together, laughter exchanged. It all flashed before my eyes and then ended at last night. It all ended when I told him to leave; to go back to the stripper from Vegas. I sat with my back against the door for what felt like hours, my phone was vibrating endlessly as I sat there, but I ignored it.

Breezy: missed call (2)

Annie: I'm worried about you.

Annie: please come out of there.

Annie: I'm making waffles.

Annie: please.

Mr. Urie: I'm sorry, I understand if you never forgive me. I'll come by to get my things later if you want.

🖕🏿jacob🖕🏿: Brendon took us off the set. I think we should meet.

🖕🏿jacob🖕🏿:God I'm such a dick.

🖕🏿jacob🖕🏿:please can we meet.

Breezy: what happened? Why is Brendon at my house sobbing?

Dallon: Jesus Christ... What happened J?

Annie: if you don't come out of there I am going to come in myself.

I just stared at my phone and then heard Annie pounding at the door.

"Jamie I swear to god! Open the door." She yelled at me. I silently reached up and pulled on the door handle letting it swing open. She sat down next to me and wrapped her arms around my shoulders. I started sobbing in the crook of her neck and she let me. "Shsh..." She cooed. "It'll be okay..." I sniffed so disgustingly that I cringed. "I made some waffles, do you want to get cleaned up and eat something?" She asked me quietly. I then realized how hungry I was. When was the last time I had eaten? I nodded my head and she helped me get up. I looked at myself in the mirror. My eyes were red and puffy, my cheeks were stained with makeup. I washed my face and went downstairs almost expecting to see Brendon standing there; hoping that this was all some sick dream. Annie stood there with a cup of coffee in her hand and her phone in the other.

"What are you reading?" I asked her. My voice was hoarse from all my crying and screaming that happened last night.

"I'm re-reading all of yours." She said with a smile.

"Oh my god no..." I said shaking my head. Yes I went through a writing phase. I wrote fucking fan fiction about Brendon. (Yeah I don't really know)

"They are really good..." She said nodding her head. "And all my comments. Damn." I laughed. I actually laughed.

"I write songs now." I said digging into the plate of waffles before me.

"You haven't played for me in a while..." She said hinting at me.

"I can't sing right now Annie..." I said my voice breaking.

"Come on. It will make you feel better." She nudged my shoulder. I got up from where I was sitting and went to grab my guitar. I went back in the kitchen and tuned it before picking an all familiar tune.

I'm holding on for my dear life to the railing on the roof. And the ground below me looks up and says, "what are you gunna do? Are you gunna throw it all away, gunna end it all, or not?"

And I'm waiting for the phone to ring so I can hear your voice again. 'Cause you're the only one who can save me from this dark and lonely end. But it's getting colder by the second, surrounded by these forget-me-nots and second thoughts. And I want them to stop. Please stop. Stop. Please stop.

Well the ground is getting softer every second that I wait. And the rain is stinging on my skin as the tears fall down my face.

And I hold your picture in my hand so you'll be with me when I go. And I recall all the moments that led me to this. All of my mistake. I say goodbye to all the memories and the lies to my face.

Cause I was hurting on the inside so I hurt myself on the outside too, but then came you. And you begged me to stop. Please stop. Stop. Please stop.

And I walk up to the edge and I kiss your picture goodbye. And I turn around to lean back and I see you with your hands out screaming stop. Please stop. Stop. Please stop.

But you were just a little too late. I touched your fingers on my way down falling faster then I fell for you. And when I look up I see you looking down on me screaming, crying, begging pleading, weeping. That's when everything stopped. Stopped. Stop. Stop.

My voice broke and the tears that were streaming down my face now felt more present. A song I had lived for years. Always trying to run away from it, but I knew it was there just about to surface again. Annie was crying too, she reached out and wrapped her arms around me.

"It's going to be okay... We got through it last time." I was sobbing now. She was there when this happened last time too, after Archie left me. I nodded into her shoulder feeling the darkness eat me alive. "I swear to god we will make it."

I'm sorry guys it's been a bad day. But I must deliver on strange pictures...