It's His Hair

.37. Far Too Young To Die

//there are so many positive vibes in this chapter, if you are triggered plz don't read//

*Brendon*

"Dallo?" I asked pulling him out of the studio.

"Beebo?"

"I need your help."

"With?!" He said urging me on with his hands.

"Erm... I just can't do this anymore..." I said tugging at my hair.

"You're not going to kill yourself are you?" He said grabbing at my shoulders.

"No! No! God no..." I said shaking him off of me.

"The what is going on?"

"Can we go get some coffee?" I said pointing behind me.

"Yeah sure." We grabbed our jackets and headed out of the studio. The air was thick with the smell of summer. We stepped into the Starbucks and were taken over by air conditioning and coffee smell. I breathed it in and exhaled.

"Why is it so fucking hot?" I said wiping the sweat from my brow.

"Dude... We're in California..."

"Not an explanation..." We got to the barista and she took our orders after freaking out when she saw us. We waited for our drinks and then sat down next to each other.

"So are you going to tell me what's up or keep me in suspense?" Dallon said turning his coffee cup on the worn table.

"I need to talk to her, but I don't know how to."

"Shit dude..." He said taking a drink of his coffee.

"I know." I looked at my lap.

"Should I ask Breezy to text her?"

"I don't know how to even go about it."

"Why don't you just call her?"

My eyes widened at the thought and I almost spit out my coffee.

"C-call her?"

"Yeah. Ya know pick up your phone and dial her phone number? I know you haven't changed her contact from 'Mrs. Urie❤️'." He said with a smirk. I laughed because it was true. There was a part of my heart that couldn't get over her. I had ruined everything we had together. I was at fault.

"Really?"

"Yeah dude... Just do it." He said shrugging his shoulders.

"O-okay..." I grabbed my phone and went outside the shop. I went into my contacts and tapped on her name. We still were only separated. She was still Mrs. Urie.

Heyo! Jamie here! I'm probably out doing something with people I love so leave a message and I'll get back to you! J come here...Bren! I'm doing something...

She didn't answer. I laughed at the conversation we were having while she was doing that. I was looking at pictures of Jack Russell terriers. I have always wanted a dog, and we going to get one right before I had to go out and fuck it all up. My heart sunk, but I didn't hang up. I was going to leave her a message.

Hey J... It's Brendon Urie, I'm sorry to bother you, but I really need to talk to you. Please I know it was all my fault. I'm so sorry. I miss you, so please call me back so we can meet and I can apologize in person. I-I... Bye J...

I couldn't tell her that I loved her. She would think that that was dumb. I know her. I messed up too much for those three words to mean anything in this situation. I walked back in the Starbucks and plopped back into the seat; defeated.

"So...?"

"Nope. She didn't answer." I shook my head and sipped my coffee.

"I'm sorry dude..."

"It's okay..."
•••
"It's been a week Dallon. I'm worried about her." I said blowing my hair out of my face.

"I am too..." Breezy said. She was laying with her head on Dallons chest on the couch in their living room.

"Can you text her? She might be open to you..." I pleaded with her. She pulled out her phone and sent a few messages. I got quiet waiting for her phone to ring... For anything to happen. It never did. "I can't do it... I'm going home." I said standing up.

"I'll go with you." Dallon said getting up either me. He grabbed his car keys and we got in his car before heading back to the house I wanted to call home. The car ride there was silent as I was scared to death of what I would find. In all reality I would probably walk in to find her happily sitting with Annie or Jacob, or maybe even a new boyfriend. We pulled up to the house and I felt a pang of nervousness in my gut. The house was dark, and I knew something was up because Jamie would not go to bed at night without the light above the front door on. I looked at Dallon and I could tell he felt the same thing I did. I pulled out my key and unlocked the door letting myself in like I normally would've. The house was dirty, which threw me off guard because Annie was a neat freak.

"What is going on?" Dallon asked breathless.

"I have no idea..." I sighed walking deeper into the darkened house. There were dishes in the sink and piles of junk on the counter top. I walked further in and saw the absolute last thing I wanted to see. Her hand splayed on the floor.

"Dall! Call an ambulance!!" I screamed as I ran to her. She was wearing a skin tight black dress. Her hair was falling into her shoulder matted with blood. She had tear marks streaking through her makeup. Her eyes opened lazily and the shut again. I blinked away tears and held her hand in mine reaching for any kind of dish towel I could find to stop the bleeding. They were deep slash marks on her wrists and a small assortment of needles littered on the floor. My heart dropped as I tied a towel around one of her arms. My vision went blurry as I heard the sirens in the distance. I started crying and kissing her lips softly. "I'm so sorry baby... I'm so sorry... This is all my fault..."

These positive vibes are just rolling all over the place...