Drogheda | Book 1

20. Alharaca

Alharaca: (N.) A extraordinary or violent emotional reaction to a small issue.
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Emma's POV

Killian looks at the gash on my head, just below my hairline. "I'm so sorry, Emma." He moves my hair out of my face. He looks at it with a guilty heart.

"Hey," I take his hand. "It's okay, how many times do I have to say it." I give him a soft smile.

"How can you forgive me after all I've done?" He looks down at me.

"Because everyone deserves a second chance." I give a small laugh. He pulls away form me and walks to the kitchen. He grabs a rag and puts water on it. He rings it out and walks back to me. He takes my hand and walks to the couch.

His hands tremble in mine. He shakes from the drugs. I look at his bloodshot eyes and the big bags under them.

We sit down on the couch. I cross my legs over his lap. He looks at me and dabs the rag on my cut. I flinch. His hands shake. I take his hand in mine. I hold it to my lips and lay against his chest. I put his arms around me. I close my eyes and melt into him. He kisses my head as I slowly fall asleep.

________________________Two Days Later________________________

Killian has been going through serious withdrawals. He constantly shakes and won't sleep. I try to convince him too, but he just says no. He suspended his football, and almost never leaves the dorm. He's depressed and never wants to see me, but being the stubborn person I am, I never listen and stay with him anyways.

"Leave me alone, Swan." He sighs, and covers his face with his hands, as he walks away from me.

"Hey," I grab his wrist. "I said we were going to do this together and I meant it, so don't walk away from me." I say sternly.

"You don't know a bloody thing!" He yells.

"Well then, enlighten me." I say with sass

"Would you just stop trying to help!?" He yells.

"No, because I'm with you 'till the end of the line, and until that end, I will never stop trying to help you, so stop pushing me away!"

"I'm pushing you away to protect you. I said I can't control what I do or say. Just leave!"

"I'm not going anywhere, so don't tell me what to do or where to go!" I say getting angry. He starts to walk away. I grab his wrist. "Don't walk away from me." Next thing I know his hand collides with my cheek, making a awful stinging pain. Tears escape my eyes and I hold my hand to my cheek. I look up at him.

"I- I'm so sorry, Emma." He walks towards me. I stay where I am. He puts his hands to my cheeks. I try to hide the fear deep down, as I try to find hope for us. "This is exactly why I want you to leave. I can't control myself when I get angry." He says through tears. "I don't want to hurt you." I look into the eyes that were once the brightest blue, but now are a dull, gloomy, grey.

"I'm not leaving." He looks up at me

"Emma-"

"Get it through your head, I'm not going anywhere."

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We sit on the couch as I lean against his shoulder. I can feel him shaking. There's a knock on the door. I get up and go to it. I open it and see Brennan. "Hello, lass." He smiles.

"Hi,"

"I just wanted to talk to Killian about why he suspended his football." I hesitantly let him in. Killian turns around with a look of panic on his face. Brennan notices. "Killian, what's wrong?" He asks, worried.

"Nothing. I think you should go." Killian stands up.

"Hey," he grabs his arm. I flinch at the thought of the last time I did that. "I've seen that look before. What are you hiding?" He glances at me. Killian takes his place on the couch and buries his face in his hands. Brennan sits beside him. I sit on the couch in front of them. "You can tell me, son."

"I know, I just don't think I can." Killian puts his hand to his mouth and opens his eyes. "Do you remember a few years ago when I got involved with Milah?"

"Of course,"

"And the drugs?" He looks at him with tears welding in his eyes. Realization hits Brennan.

"Killian," he sighs. And rubs his temples. "How could you go back there?" He almost yells at him. "Did you even give a second thought too what this would do to our family!?" He screams. Killian flinches at his voice as tears fall from his eyes. "Don't you remember the last time this happened? It almost tore it apart." Brennan looks at me. "And what about Emma? Did you even think about her?" Killian avoids his eyes. "Look at me when I'm talking to you!" He yells. Killian continues to look away. "What about you mother, your bother, this will kill them."

"I'm sorry." Killian says, barley above a whisper.

"And you." Brennan turns to me. I stand up. "How could you not tell us?" He almost yells. "I have the wright to know when my son is in pain!" Killian stands up and steps between us.

"That's enough!" He says harshly. "You don't have the authority to speak to her like that." He spits. "She was just doing as I asked, so don't talk to her like that! Get out!" He points to the door.

"How bad is your life that you would need drugs to make it all go away?"

"Get out!" He repeats.

"Just think about what you've done, Killian. Nothing good comes of drugs. You have so much to live for. Remember that." He walks out of the dorm and closes the door behind him.

Killian sighs and turns around to face me. "I'm sorry he yelled at you. He had no right too." I wrap my arms around him.

"It's okay." I say into his chest.

"What am I going to do?"

"Come to bed." I take his hand and lead him towards his bed. We lay down and hold each other. "I thought I could win this fight." He says as the dark fills the room.

"You may not win the fight, but you will win the war." With that I fall asleep, hoping it will be a better day tomorrow.