Drogheda | Book 1

64. Shattered Anxiety

Killian's POV

"Killian, You know you want these." Milah says, running her finger across my chest, holding a bag of cocaine in her hand.

"I don't know, Milah." I stand up.

"Come on, babe, for me?" She bats her eyelashes at me.

"... Okay, fine."

I sit straight up, looking around our room frantically. I look to my side and see a peacefully sleeping Emma. I stand up and run my hands through my hair and down my face. "Killian?" I turn around and see Emma sitting up, rubbing her eyes. "What's wrong? Why are you up?"

"It's nothing..." I walk out of our room.

Emma's POV

I throw the covers off of me and run after him. "Killian," I grab his wrist, turning him around. "What's wrong?" I says sternly.

"It was just a nightmare." He pulls away from me.

"Talk to me." I beg. "Was it Milah?"

"Aye," he says under his breath, keeping his eyes away from mine.

"Baby," I wrap my arms around him, holding him tightly. "She can't hurt you." I whisper.

"I'm so weak." He pulls away.

"Killian, being scared isn't a weakness. She hurt you, and trust me, I understand being hurt more than anyone." I say calmly. "You were just a kid." I take his hand.

"But why is it effecting me now?" He looks at me with tears stinging his eyes.

"Memories bring back pain, Killian, and it's just a pain that we have to live with." I cup his cheeks. "Please come back to bed." I beg. He looks down. "Please?"

"Okay," he mumbles. I kiss his forehead and pull him towards our room. I stop and hold hand to my mouth.

"Emma?" His voice is full of concern. I let go of him and dash to the bathroom. I vomit. He runs in and holds my hair back and rubs my back soothingly. I finish. "Are you pregnant?" His eyes show a glimmer of hope.

"I don't know, but that's not what this feels like." I hold my hands to my stomach. "I really don't feel well." I close my eyes as he sweeps me into his arms and carries me back to our bed. He walks back from the kitchen with a bowl.

"I'll pick up a pregnancy test for you tomorrow, okay?" He brushes my hair as I lie down. I nod. He kisses my forehead and lays next to me.

_

I wake up with Killian sleeping peacefully next to me. A awful feeling grows in my stomach. I grab the bowl Killian set on the side table and vomit. Someone pulls my hair back and rubs my back. He sighs in concern. I lay back down and rub my eyes. "Are you alright, love?" He strokes my hair.

"I'm okay, I guess." I wrap my arms around him, and pull him closer to me. "I love you."

"I love you too." He kisses my forehead and lays his cheek on my head.

"I'm sorry I woke you up." I look up at him.

"It's okay, love, you couldn't help it." He lightly kisses my lips. He holds me in his arms with my head on his chest and his chin on the top of my head. "Do you want to try and eat something?" He says sweetly.

"Um, okay, I'll try, but I can't make any promises it will stay down." I giggle at my own joke. He lets go of me and stands up. He holds out his hand.

"Carry me?" I pout and hold my arms out. He rolls his eyes and smiles. He sweeps me up and carries me out. I happily stay in his arms with my hands in my lap and my head on his shoulder. He opens his mouth to speak but I answer before he can. "Eggs and bacon." He just smiles.