Gaurdian Angel

Chapter Four

Dean's POV

I got through the rest of my boring school day somehow. I kept doodling in my notebook and somehow, my doodles were always these vague looking men who slightly resembled the man who ran into me earlier. I couldn't get the brash boy out of my mind. It was driving me crazy all day, but finally the day was over, and I was able to get out to my car to wait for sam and ask him. I slid into the soft, familiar driver's seat of my Impala, eyes closed in quiet happiness. Today had been pretty awful, but now I was back in my beloved car. I ran my hands over the familiar bumps of the steering wheel, sighing as my lips curled into a smile. I opened my eyes as Sammy exited the school building and started toward the car. He was walking fast, as if trying to make it to the car before the clock ticked past 3:13. I raised my hand and gave him a small wave, showing him that it was okay to walk at a normal pace. I pulled my arm back into the car and opened the door. I slid out of my seat, shoes tapping softly down onto the pavement. Sammy slowed down just enough that it didn't look like he was rushing. He walked over and leaned against the side of my car. I reached down through the car door, snagged the plastic bag off the floor, and pulled two cans of soda out of it. I kept one and tossed the other one at Sammy. He caught it with one hand, then cracked it open and gulped down what seemed to be half of it in one drink. "Bad day?" I asked. He grimaced and chugged the other half of his pop. "The worst. You?" I cracked open my own soda and took a small sip. "Mixed feelings." was all I said in reply. I finished off my soda quickly, then nodded my head toward the Impala. "Right. Let's hit the road Sammy." I slid into the driver's seat, pulling my door shut and clicking my seatbelt into place. I pulled my key ring out of my pocket and slid my key into the ignition. I smiled as the engine purred to life, and I pulled out of the parking lot. On the way there, I got up the courage to talk to Sam. "So Sammy. I ran into someone today, I was wondering if you knew who he is. Black hair, blue eyes, seemed pretty angry until we both ended up sprawled on the floor in the middle of the hallway... Know him?" Sam looked over at me, eyes slightly widened. "Light tan jacket?" I nodded. "Castiel Novak." He said. "He's basically a silent bully. He can make people uncomfortable with his mere presence. He's rude and mean, and no one at this school likes him." I was a little surprised, but recovered quickly. "He seemed nice enough to me. He picked up my books and he apologized for knocking me over." Sam's eyes widened even more. "What the..." He shook his head. "Eh, he probably likes you or sonething." Sam said, biting his lip. I gave Sam a confused glance. "What?" He looked over at me. "Did I forget to mention that he's like... Way out of the closet gay?" I swear I almost swerved off the road. I was silent now, not saying a thing, just driving home. Sam looked slightly concerned. My heart was beating like a freakin jackhammer. I couldn't get that boy's face out of my mind, and it was driving me crazy. I didn't know what to think. I'm not gay! But... Damn, I couldn't help but think about how attractive that boy was. His image was seared into my mind. The sharp jawline, the messy, tousled black hair, the dark stubble, the bright blue eyes... Damn... I mean, I've always had a healthy appreciation for an attractive guy with a five o'clock shadow and a decent sense of style... But that doesn't make me gay! I pulled into the driveway and trudged into the house, keys jingling in my hand. My brain was still stuck on Castiel. I've never... I've never thought about a guy this much before... I wouldn't admit this to Sam, but I've started thinking I might be a tiny bit bi... Like.. Girls are hot as hell, but I have some really gay thoughts sometimes. Like. This Castiel guy? I keep finding myself wondering what his stubble would feel like when I kissed him... Or what it would feel like if I pressed the palm of my hand against his cheek to look into those beautiful blue eyes.... Or whether his fingers would fit right slotted between mine... What his lips would taste like.... I forced myself to snap out of this train of thought, forcing myself to think back to my last girlfriend. I steered my mind to the last time I kissed her, but my mind strayed and replaced her with Castiel. When I realized what had happened, I cursed aloud and jumped to my feet, packing back and forth across my bedroom floor, raking my fingers through my hair. "Damn.." I whispered, pressing my back against my wall. I leaned my head back against the rough plaster surface, eyes shut in shame and anger. 'This is not what mom and and dad would want... Dad would probably never talk to me again... Mom would feel the shame all the way in heaven...' I forced myself to think of how many people I'd upset and disappoint if I came out as gay or bi. It wasn't working, simply because even though I told myself they'd be upset, I honestly didn't think they'd get upset. I honestly think that my family is one of the least homophobic families I've ever met... I whirled around and punched as hard as I could, putting a hole through my wall. I grimaced in pain, feeling the snapping and cracking as my fist punched through the plaster and smacked into a wooden stud buried in the wall. I let out a pained noise and gently pulled my fist out of the wall. I attempted to uncurl my fist and came close to crying out in pain. Definitely broken.