I'd Do Anything: A Phanfiction

Chapter 3

His hot breath wavered dangerously close to my lips. My heartbeat sped up five thousand times faster. I could feel my heartbeat course all throughout my body. It felt like the pulsating organ was trying to escape my ribs.

"What are we doing?" I whispered in a shaky voice. Dan's chocolatey brown eyes blinked open and stared back into my blue ones.

A cheeky smirk played on his face making my heart beat faster still, "The fans wanted proof, right?" His words made my heart race even more, though that seemed impossible. I felt like I was having a heart attack, but in a good way. He started to close the distance between us again. I panicked as his eyes started to flutter closed again. His eyes shut. My eyes were wide open and taking in every aspect of his face. He gradually got closer; I remained frozen, unable to move. Before my heart could explode within me, I spoke up, "Wait."

He opened his eyes again keeping his forehead against mine. I noticed a small note of frustration pass through his eyes, quickly followed by confusion. I needed to ask something. "Wasn't that a joke? Just a prank. We aren't actually... You know...?" I asked.

"Let's see," he responded, going in for yet a third time. I couldn't think of anything else so I closed my eyes as well, allowing my heart to beat as fast as it wanted. With any luck, it would beat so fast I would die because the anxiety of waiting had become too overwhelming. I stayed where I was, waiting for his lips to meet mine. It never happened though.

I sat straight up in bed panting instead. It was still dark outside. I checked the clock. 4:52am.

Oh god. This again?! I was sweaty and my heartbeat was beating one thousand beats per minute, but it didn't feel ready to burst like it had in my dream. I couldn't get my breathing under control either. I sat panting like a dog while I tried to calm my nerves. I felt tears form at the corners of my eyes. This was too stressful. I felt like I was having a panic attack, and I needed to get far away from here. What is going on? I looked around Dan's room. I decided I wouldn't feel better until I got out of there.

I left and hurried into my room, taking off pjs and pulling on a pair of sweats and my green hoodie. I slipped into some trainers and grabbed my iPhone. I made sure to grab the keys on my way out. I locked the door behind me and got outside as quick as the lift would allow. Once outside I felt the cool breeze against my face instantly making me feel a little better. The sensation seemed to clear out all thoughts from my brain. I walked into the wind letting it blow away my thoughts and troubles. I checked the time; It was ten past five. I can't recall ever being outside in London this early. There are still plenty of people traversing around, but it's not quite as loud as it usually is. I walked, not really with a destination in mind, I just let my feet take me wherever.

After a while, I looked around to notice I was in a park. I sat down on a bench that faced the sunrise and just watched for a bit. I leaned back and relaxed. I don't think I've ever watched the sunrise... it sure was beautiful. I've been missing out. I made a mental note to maybe come watch the sunset again some other time.

I have no idea what these dreams are. I KNOW I don't have feelings for Dan so that's out of the question. Part of me still wished I did, so I would have an easy explanation, but I didn't. They could just be sprouting from all the stress this new video has put on me. Yeah, that's it. I took a deep breath in and just let my mind go blank. I can't be bothered to think right now.

The sun was still dull enough to look at when I decided I'd be productive today and get out of the house. With Dan gone I was left alone with no one. I should ring up someone. After a bit of thought I decided to try PJ and Chris and see if they were around and free.

I closed my eyes and half smiled. I inhaled a deep breath and held it for a few seconds. One, two, three, four, five. I slowly let the air out of my lungs as I opened my eyes. This was what I needed.