Yo te Cielo

Capítulo 1

¿Sufremás aquél que espera siempre que aquél que nunca esperó a nadie?

Does he who is always waiting suffer more than he who's never waited for anyone?

-Pablo Neruda, Libro de las Preguntas (XLII)

***

Napahawak si Pat sa kanyang pisngi nang maalala ang sampal ni Ria. It's not so much of a big deal for him as this was not the first time that it happened. In fact, he was already used to it. Ipinagpasalamat na lamang niya na sampal lang ang inabot niya. The worst thing that happened before was when a certain Rubi took one of his 18″ x 24″ canvas paintings and threw it outside the window. Nalaman kasi nito na may kinikita siyang ibang babae, so instead of physically hurting him, pinagdiskitahan na lang yung pinaghirapan niyang painting. May minalas na natamaan nuon at nagreklamo kaya hindi niya yuon malilimutan at gugustuhing maulit muli. Simula nuon, itinatago na lang niya ang mga artworks imbis na dinidisplay, bago na naman may mangealam ng mga ito.

It was already 3 in the morning. Hindi niya in-expect na tatagal ang diskusyon nila ni Ria. Nagpupumilit ito kanina na seryosohin na nila ang kanilang relasyon at itigil na ang paglalaro. Hindi um-oo si Pat dahil alam niyang kahit maging official couple sila, wala pa rin namang magbabago sa pakikitungo niya kay Ria. Alam niya kasi na ang relasyon nila ay para ring magiging kagaya ng sa nauna niyang mga naging nobya.

"The first time we met, nung pinakilala ka ni Irish sakin, I felt my heart palpitated like crazy! Pat, it was love at first sight!" He remembered her cheerful face when she said those words a few months ago. Napa-I see na lamang siya nuon bago tanungin ni Ria kung nakaranas na ba siya ng ganuong feeling. He knew she was hoping to hear him say 'Yes I did, when I first saw you.' kaso hindi yuon ang sinagot niya.

"Yes, maybe." Pero hindi na niya kinwento ang buong detalye kahit pa nagpumilit ang kausap. He felt it was unnecessary to share his story.

"Sige, 'wag mo nalang ikwento kung ayaw mo. Can you at least tell me, paano mo nalalaman if you're sincerely in love with someone? Hindi kasi ako naniniwala sa sinabi ni Irish."

That moment, he wished she would stop asking cheesy questions but he was nice enough to give her an answer.

"Hindi ko alam, Ria. I never loved a girl sincerely." 

Akala niya matu-turn off si Ria sa sagot niya, kaso na-challenge pa ito na subuking makipaglaro sa kanya. 

Pat opened a bottle of his favorite Las Rocas Garnacha and poured it in his glass. He particularly liked the wine's fruity flavor mixed with a subtle spice and its high alcohol content. Hindi pa siya tinatamaan ng antok kaya naisipan na lamang niyang uminom. He suddenly recalled what transpired earlier before he went to Ria's house— Armi's voice in the background singing Tadhana, Miho's puzzled look and the 2-minute fireworks display.

Pero yung dati baka- Amor a primera vista.

He said it with uncertainty and he even used a language which he assumed Miho wouldn't understand completely. Natawa siya sa sarili; he didn't sound convincing even to himself. Pakiramdam niya biniro lang niya ang sarili at ang sinabihan niya. Kung totoo man ang love at first sight at kagaya yuon ng description ni Ria, hanggang ngayon ay hindi pa rin niya alam. Only one thing's for sure— the first time he saw her, he felt her incredible aura that caused his heart to flutter; there was even a certain kind of warmth that enveloped his body. In-assume niya na baka nuong oras na yun, sira lang ang aircon sa faculty room at ang palpitation ay epekto lang ng caffeine. When he looked behind, he saw his colleague, Ivan, who was wearing his fleece jacket while sipping hot coffee from his pink cup. Duon sumagi sa isip niya na maayos ang aircon sa loob at hindi pa pala siya nakakainom ng kape. Hindi na lang niya pinansin ang naramdaman at dinaanan lang ang Ninang niya at ang kausap nito bago makalabas ng pintuan. After a few days, he used her as an alibi to break up with Tanya.