My Sexual Partner (Completed)

Chapter 46

(A/N: Apat na chapters na lang! Yippeee!!! Any guesses what would happen?)

"Of course you can," Mommy ni Trite ang sumagot. "Okay lang naman diba kumare? Carlo?"

Hala, kumare si Mommy?

Tumango si Mommy. "Sure," Mommy said and looked at me.

"I guess, yeah," sabi ni Carlo na napilitan, na masama ang tingin kay Trite.

Trite moved the corners of his mouth in a small, tired smile. He walked out of the house kaya sinundan ko sya. He opened the door of his car for me. "Please," he said.

"Thanks," bulong ko as I got in.

It's weird to have a different feeling for him other than love. I still love him but at the same time, when I see him, I see someone who didn't trust me when he should've, when it mattered, when I needed him to.

Siguro yun yung masakit, yung okay sana kami, yung okay naman kami, pero nasira kasi hindi mabago yung paningin namin sa isa't isa na hindi tama.

Ako, hindi ko nagustuhan ang relasyon nila ni Micah. They're too close, too personal for my liking. Ang point ko, if I was that close to someone alam kong hindi nya magugustuhan yun. Why should he have a relationship with an ex? Kahit ba platonic pa. Buti kung mabait yung ex nya, pero hindi. She relishes that I get jealous. At niloko na sya dati nun.

He was quiet for a bit. He was unsure of how to start our conversation. But he also knew time's running out. He needs to talk to me soon or Carlo's gonna get antsy at baka labasin na kami nun, magalit pa.

"Trite?" I started.

"I still love you," he whispered. It was quick. He exhaled it. He sighed. He wasn't looking at me. "I know you've moved on na hindi ko matanggap, that I don't know how that happened with you... but I haven't moved on Abby. I really haven't."

"Trite-"

"It's hard for me to accept na you have a relationship now with Carlo... You've always been mine eh." Huminga sya. It seemed difficult for him to express his feelings. "You were someone I could look forward to seeing, alam mo yun. I've become accustomed to that. 'Pag after school, I'd see you. I'm living my kife and there's you at the end of the day. Nasanay ako sa ganun. Ngayon, hindi na kita mahanap..." Huminga sya ng malalim. "And each time, I get the slap of reality that it's because... you belong to someone else's arms now. Hindi na ako. Hindi ka na sa'kin."

A tear suddenly fell from my eye. I wiped it.

I love him but I can't hurt Carlo. I can't. I just can't.

"Alam kong mahal mo pa 'ko. Kaya it's painful to live each day knowing that you can get back to me pero you're choosing not to. Hindi ko alam kung bakit. Yun ang gusto kong malaman Abby."

Hindi ko aamining mahal ko sya. Ayoko syang umasa. I'm staying with Carlo.

"I love you Abby eh. Pa'no ba 'to? How do I... How do I," napasinghap sya. "How do I continue?"

I saw him shed a tear that he controlled.

Sh1t.

"Hindi ko alam kung karma ko 'to for getting you from Sach, for proving a point sa kanya noon na I can get a girl like you pero ang bigat pa rin dalhin na hindi na kita natatawag na akin. Hindi na ako yung sinasalubong mo ng yakap at halik." Mas napayuko sya. "I miss those Abby," umiyak na sya. "I miss the warmth of your kisses, your hugs, your smile."

"Trite-" I cried 'cause I had to even if I didn't want to.

"Just listen. I need to make my case. I need to get you back kasi..." suminghot sya, "kasi ayokong mabuhay ng ganito, yung wala ka."