Grey //CAKE//

Chapter 1

Luke

Dysphoria; a state of unease or generalized dissatisfaction with life

A word that perfectly describes me. Also the name of an EP from an artist I like very much.

It's quite sad really. I'd like to be that boy that has a ton of friends, and lots of girls on him. Fuck, id love that. But the only thing is, im the least popular guy in the school.. and gay?

Oh and not to mention that mentally fucked up kid. "The freak". Yeah, when your dad dies in a gory car crash, and your mom becomes known as that crazy drunk/crack head across the street life turns pretty rough, and your reputation isn't that great.

Oh! and that's not even the worse part, no, no. The worst part is my step dad. Grade A asshole. You see I don't like to follow rules much and that pisses him off, and he's a pretty built dude, so getting slapped around by him definitely makes coming home something special.

I feel like im making myself sound like one of those, bad boy, tattoo, piercing, rebel dudes you see on tumblr. Nope. I am the weakest little thing you could meet. Im a stick. A pewny, weak, stick. I cry myself to sleep, I cut in the corner of my bathroom, I worry about my weight, I think about suicide more than you think, and I cant even keep a conversation with someone

Not that id need to, though. Nobody really talks to me. Its like im invisible. I kind of like it that way. Nothing to worry about really. Well except for 2 people. Michael Clifford and Ashton Irwin. They make sure at some point in my week to come to me to tell me I am 100% worthless. You can feel the love am I right?

I sat up from my bed and walked into the restroom.

Monday. I just love Mondays. Getting to wake up early and skip into that hell hole. Ah just sends shivers down my spine, makes me feel alive.

I turned on the shower and began taking off my clothes. My eyes shifted to the mirror and they wandered around, looking at all the sticky notes i had posted around over the years. Would it be considered art?

More of a distraction.

On the notes are just anything from moods im feeling, could be drawings, could be insults, could be inspiration. Anything.

I started them because i wanted to have something to cover my mirror, i didn't want to look at myself anymore.

I stepped into the shower, with a distracted mind, not even realized the water was super fucking hot. I winced and jumped back. I turned the nozzle, so itll be cooler.

Shit, im such a mess, even the shower water wants to hurt me.

I quickly washed my body and hair and got out. I put on a red flannel, black jeans, and converse. I went into the restroom again and ran the towel through my hair drying it up some. I WISH i could say doing my hair was simple, and that i didn't have as many products as i do, but.. im sorry but i cant.

It's almost embarrassing how much i like doing my hair.

I fixed up my quiff a bit more until i realized.. I actually have to go to school.

I skipped down stairs avoiding any type of human interaction. Luckily i didn't have to worry, My mom was surely up stairs passed out or something and my step dad was probably at work.

I skipped out on breakfast making today my 5th day not eating. I noticed i had been gaining weight some, im trying to stay at 110. Many, many websites say that is unhealthy for a 16 year old boy, but i say its just underweight, and i like being underweight.

I blasted music in my ears as i walked through the halls to my locker. I try to stay hidden. When im noticed its always at the worst times, when Ashton or Michael are there and then that leads to being beaten up and that's nootttttt fun.

I put the combination in my locker, but was quickly pushed down. I fell straight on my ass, and damn, hurt like a bitch. "Um excuse you." Some cake faced blonde said bitterly. I rolled my eyes. This is the way im treated e v e r y d a y!

I slammed my locker shut and walked off to first period. What a long day this was going to be.

A/n

So this is Grey, new and revised. I am making huge changes and im deleting the other. I am just tottalllyyyy uncomfortable with it XD and it was really successful but hopefully i can make this be just as successful and better. so i hope you like it and i should be able to keep up with updates idk no promises lol