Grey //CAKE//

Chapter 27

Luke

Nothing felt right.
I had been saved , I was alive, I thought I was healing. But nothing felt good. In fact I felt worse than I ever did before.
all I could do was lay around. I couldn't move, I couldn't eat. All I could do was cry.

Calum would try to talk to me, I could tell he was worried , but I wouldn't say anything back.

I'd stare at the cuts on my arm, crying and crying until I passed out. I couldn't tell if I had wished it would've worked or not.

I was such a nuisance, I was ruining this poor boys life. I heard him in the kitchen crying to Mali, pleading for some kind of answers as to what happened to me, how he missed 'his luke' and god it hurt. I wish I could be what he needed but I can't.

I love him with all my heart but I'm.. I'm just not there anymore. I don't know how to be. Everything I once knew, every wall I learned to build, every lie I lived, they were all gone. I didn't know who I was anymore.

Calum walked into his room again, with a small tray of snacks that he knew I wouldn't eat. His face was drained of the usually happiness, there were bags, and red puffiness from crying. He was just as broken as I was.

"Lukey" he croaked. He placed the tray on his table before walking over to the bed and falling on it. He wrapped his arms around me, I heard a sob before he spoke, "I don't know what's happening, but I miss you babe." He cried into my back, tears welled up in my eyes, "I miss you so much, and I promise I'm going to be here, I'm not going anywhere, and I really don't understand why you're hiding away from me, but you're my everything, please don't leave me again" at this point he was sobbing, choking on his words. I couldn't help but cry with him.

I turned around and hugged him.
I wanted to be strong for calum. After all he was trying his hardest for me. Never failing to try and cheer me up. Whether it be with video games, a funny movie, or cuddling. He was doing everything he could.
It was my turn.

I wiped away his tears and kissed him lightly on his lips.

"I'm so sorry, Cal" I said finally, after days of not speaking. From the sound of my voice calum only began crying more. He hugged me so tightly, I never wanted it to end. I loved him so much. Words couldn't express. I really just needed to figure out how to get out of this darkness.
I want to be happy but I don't even know where to begin. I don't want to fall away again.

-

I had been sitting in the corner of the room, with my guitar on my lap, crumbled papers around me, and my notepad in front. I had nearly finished my song.
I needed to rid the sadness for the few days, and the only way to try and do the right thing was this way.

I heard shuffling on the bed and I looked up. Calum was sitting, rubbing his eyes, his hair was messy and he seemed confused.

"Hey" I greeted quietly, with a small smile.
He looked over at me, shuffling off the end of the bed

"What are you doing?" He asked, I blushed and looked down, but he lifted my chin making our eyes meet. He sat in front of me and leaned on his knees.
"Did you write a song?"

I simply nodded, feeling too embarrassed to speak. He leaned back with a smirk, "play it for me"

I was surprised by his words, yet it only made me remember how this was what I wanted, I wanted to sing these songs for him, I only didn't understand why now I was so scared to.

I cleared my throat and nodded, "okay" he smiled and I moved my fingers to strum the correct chords.

"Another day
Of painted walls and football on the tv,
No one sees me,
I fade away,
Lost inside a memory of someone's life,
It wasn't mine.."