Grey //CAKE//

Chapter 35

Calum

I chewed on my lip while walking home, trying to understand what just happened.
Why was Ashton so mad?
Was he still into Luke?

I rolled my eyes and felt my heart quicken with anger,
He has no reason to be jealous of me and Luke. He tortured him for months, I actually love him, and will take care of him.

It was no question that Ashton knew where Luke had disappeared to, maybe even could've been the cause. But I still wanted to know why.

I definitely trust Luke.. but I don't trust Ashton.

I fumbled with the doorknob, stepping inside and taking off my backpack.

The house was silent and I sighed. I walked up the stairs and into my room, seeing Luke curled into a ball on the floor.

"Luke" I spoke, shaking his knee when I lowered next to him. "What are you doing"

He continued to stare at nothing, "I'm just laying here, it feels nice" he whispered. I could smell the alcohol practically everywhere, scrunching my nose.

"You can't just leave school like that."

"Why not?" He asks and I just roll my eyes.

"You just can't. It's not right, you can get in trouble" I tried to look around the room for the mysterious drink that he had but it was no where to be seen

"What does it matter?" he said slowly, "I have no future."

"Sure you do. We all do, you're talking nonsense"

"I won't live long enough to know that." He said, almost so silently, that you couldn't hear it, but I did.

Instead of saying anything, I put my books down and acted like I was cleaning something on my desk.

"I don't know what you want, Luke" I said, keeping my gaze on the miscellaneous objects . "I don't know why you don't talk to me anymore."

"I'm talking to you right now" he responded in the same tone.

"You know what I mean." He sighed and slowly my hands turned to fists.
"Did you talk to Ashton today?"
He stayed silent, I turned around and looked at his frail hands messing with the carpet. "I asked you a question Luke"

"Why?" He asked and I brought my hands to my face.

"Can you just be honest with me?"

"Yes" he whispered, "we talked"

"What did he say?" He stared off at nothing, just like he always does when his mind is lost.

"I don't remember" I rolled my eyes and bit my lip, beginning to lose all patience that I once had.

"I know you do"

"You don't know anything, calum" I slammed my hands on the desk, watching him flinch.

"Why do you think that is? Look where you are, Luke! I've taken you in, the least you could fucking do is give me the time of day" I sat down, dropping my head into my hands once again.

"I thought you loved me" he said quietly.
At this point I couldn't handle it . He knows that I love him, I wasn't going to sit there and lose my temper and do something I regretted, so I left.

I walked down to the living room and turned on the tv, grabbing a controller.
I don't know how I thought FIFA would've been a good stress reliever but I was obnoxiously wrong.

I threw the controller on the floor and pouted . I could feel my stomach growling and thought about leaving to go get a pizza, but I couldn't bring myself to do so.

I know Luke was going through things but it's just so god damn irritating! He doesn't do anything to help himself. He doesn't live in that shitty home, he doesn't have two dick head bullies hurting him anymore, what is keeping him this way?
How am I not helping?

I leaned my head onto the couch and squeezed the bridge of my nose.
I want to be there for him, and I will be. But I can't help if he doesn't let me. And now look at this, I don't have friends, I can barely focus on school and soccer, I barely have him.

Is it really worth it?
Is he really worth it?

I could feel the pressure in my temples worsening as my thoughts did too.

I love him.
I can't just leave him, we've been through so much together.
But it hasn't even been that long.

I decided to get up and go to the bedroom. I wanted to see him. Then I would be able to understand how I feel.

If I look into his eyes and feel everything I once did before then I'll do everything I can.
But if not,
It's over.