Grey //CAKE//

Chapter 39

Luke

I knew that after what i said the night before, things between me and Calum would never be the same. I also knew that I couldn't stay where I was; it felt wrong. I had broken a boys heart and here I was sleeping in his guest bedroom. The worst part was.. he lets me. Calum never spoke a word of hate, never yelled at me, never hurt me..

well. yes he hurt me. But i dont think his intentions were to.

Really... i hurt him. my intentions when i said what i said were to hurt him. I wanted him to be upset, i wanted him to feel what i had felt.. and god that was just so careless.

God shut up, already.

I couldn't stop the tears from falling onto my cheeks as i dropped clothing into my duffel bag. There was a shirt in one hand and a bottle of vodka in the other. I don't know how i became so dependent on alcohol but i considered it better than any of my other habits.

In one swift movement i tossed the bag over my shoulder with the bottle still in my hand. I sniffed and rubbed my nose with the back of my hand. i then struggled to open the door but once it gave I quickly moved.

my eyes watered thinking about leaving without a word but i knew it was what i had to do, it hurt less that way.

I slowly tiptoed down the stairs, the closer i got to the bottom the more illuminated the room became. My breath hitched as i heard the tv in the background and, without thinking, i turned my head. Calum was laying there on the couch, head tilted, completely still. My heart sank at the sight of his sleeping body.

I took one more drink out of the bottle and turned my eyes away and headed for the door. I moved the glass to my other arm and as my hand touched the lock i heard the tv turn off. The hair raised all around my body and i felt chills.

"Luke" I heard, but paid no attention, i turned the lock and opened the door, shutting it behind me. I walked as fast as i could, my heart beating faster and faster. Suddenly it seemed like that time i was running from home, the day Calum told me to meet him at the park. I had never experienced so much adrenaline.. but as soon as i was in calums company i felt as though nothing had happened. i was okay.

Shut up.

His eyes were red and puffy, as though he was crying that day too. But oddly enough the sparkle in his pupils never faded..
he's so strong..

Shut up, Luke.

I shook my head and continued walking down the orange lit road, only staring at my feet. I couldn't even think of any place to go.
I had no one.

Soon enough i got lost in my thoughts, I couldn't help but think about Calum's arms around me. They were so warm. So comforting. Only reality brought me back too soon with the painstaking thought that Calum never went to look for me.
I left and he let me.
That's what you wanted didn't you?
I suddenly began to feel hysterical, almost uncontrollable.

Breathing heavy I went for a drink of vodka only to find it empty. I stared at the bottle, watching it sway back and forth, and in one angry stride I smashed it to the ground. A loud enraged scream following, without being able to stop myself.

I hobbled to a small lit up bar that just so happened to conveniently be in my view and smiled.

I wanted to drink my heart to filth.

So that's what I did as soon as I sat down. The bartender looked at me with uneasy eyes but reassured him I was fine, and just to hand me the hardest thing he had. And like any good man, he did. And boy was it bad.

Before I knew it, I was a new man.

"Easy, tiger. You keep on and you'll be a dead man before you get out of here!" Someone said beside me, patting my shoulder.

"That's what I'm going for" I smiled, biting my lip and he chuckled, shaking his head.

"What's your deal man, you haven't stopped drinking since you came in here." He said, and maybe if I wasn't drunk off my ass I would assume he was a little concerned.

"isn't that what people come in here to do?" I tilt the glass and take the last swig, dropping it down and nodding at the bartender, whose name is Eddy, by the way, to get me another.

"You handle your alcohol well.. I hope you didn't drive yourself here." I shook my head quickly and waved my pointer finger side to side.

"No." I kicked my duffle bag under me and he saw.

"Oh.. I see, old lady kick you out?" He asked with a grin and I narrowed my eyes.

"Old lady?"

"Wife? Girl friend? Sorry, you never can tell how old someone is in this lighting." He pointed at the dim lights hanging down and I chuckled dryly

"Boyfriend. He uh.. well, we.." I searched my mind for the right words but could only come up with two, "I left."

He looked at me solemnly, "damn." I shook off the comment and asked eddy for another but he attitude seemed to change since the last one.

"Excuse me, Eddy, have you been drinking on the job or do you just not have eyes?" I drunkingly asked, not seeming to care what kind of consequences were to come.

"Look, you've already had at least 70 bucks worth of drinks already, kid. I can't let you do more."

I narrowed my eyes and leaned forward, "Sorry, did I Stutter when I asked you for another drink, oh wait, not for a second, because I Didn't Ask." The words left my mouth like poison. I had no control over myself anymore.

"Hey buddy, lets settle down, eddy is probably right." The man next to me put his hand on my shoulder once again but this time I pushed it off.

"Keep your hands off of me!"

"Hey man, you better fix that temper or I swear to god I'm gonna be feeding you to the dogs!" He seethed pointing a finger at me, suddenly not being that nice man he was before.

"Give me your worst." I said and pushed him back, only he pulled himself forward, grabbed me by my collar and slammed me onto the ground. I groaned, feeling my eye sight become blurry.

"Cmon boy, get up!" He hand his hands in fists waiting to hit me again. And boy was I no loser, I got right back up, and immediately slammed my knuckles into his jaw, Laughing at the sting that came after.

Only this was no fair game, the moment I did what I thought would leave me with a win, 4 guys stood and sped my way, Beating me to pulp.

In no time police were busting through the door and dragging us out.
I couldn't tell when they were called or who called them but I didn't seem to care nonetheless.

At least I had a place to sleep tonight.