baby daddy :: hg

XVI

Scarlett Rodriguez;

"Hayes" I whisper, my eyes getting watery by the second. I cover the ring he's holding with both my small hands.

"I would love to be your wife" I somewhat whisper, that familiar lump forming in my throat making it hard to speak.

A smile forms upon his face "just, not yet" the smile quickly disappears "give me, a few hours to think about this, it's a big commitment you know" I trail off

"Scarlett i know this is scary but we can make this work, us, this us" he says "I-I'm sorry Hayes" I say getting up and walking out of the restaurant leaving Alanis with Hayes.

I begin walking to the park Hayes took me, when we were younger.

Could we really make this work, could this present us make it work, can we handle being with each other for the rest of our lives?

There's so many questions that I myself can't even answer. I love him and there's no doubt on that but what if everything changes? what if we change - he changes?

The fact that I've wanted this forever and now that it's happening I can't see myself being in that place.

It was chilly but I didn't mind. This walk was helping me a lot and I was clearing my mind, I was thinking clearly.

It was dark, sure but that doesn't matter right now, I want to get married to Hayes, I want to become Mrs.Grier, I really do.

But we're only young, barley turning twenty, for god sakes, I can't even legally drink yet.

+

"What do you think life will be like three to four years from now?" he asked randomly "Um, I'm not sure. I'm hoping its besides you, in our lovely home and after a year or two maybe three, at home with a little baby boy" i answer honestly, i mean i don't expect to have a baby at twenty but maybe getting married at that age and then having a baby two to three years from there.

"Now hold your horses, babe. We will be having a baby girl, which i will protect from boys, that today are known as fuckboys ok?" he says, which i found very cute "Oh baby, trust me, you sure are one of them, so have fun telling her how you were a so called 'fuckboy' back in your days" i chuckle as he chuckles as well

+

I love him, what in the world was I thinking not saying yes, I'm madly In love with that boy.

I rush my way back home, quickly going inside and closing the door behind me

"Hayes!" I call out as I walk into the living room not seeing him nor the kitchen.

The only choice I was left with was either the backyard or upstairs, so I headed upstairs.

"Hayes!" I call out once again and enter our now sharing bedroom. No sign of him or Alanis.

I make my way to the backyard - nothing.

I tried giving him a call, or more than one but no answer so I sent him a text no answer and another after another and still - no answer.

I give up and head back upstairs to change into something more comfortable.

I walk over to the vanity i have and sit on the chair taking my accessories off and open the little top drawer.

There was an envelope turned upside down, I place my jewelry inside the drawer and grabbed the envelop - standing up and making my way to the bed to sit.

I sit crisscross and flip it around 'Scarlett' read on the front.

         Scarlett, oh my Scarlett. If you're reading this then that probably means I left. I don't want to be the one stopping you from doing what you want to do or where you want to go in life. you're young, we're young...maybe I was rushing into things but I was ready to marry you and be with you for the rest of my living years. I love you. and each day that love for you grows more and more. do you feel the same? will you always be by my side? through the ups and the downs? when we get in fights? when we disagree on something? when we begin to fall apart...? I don't think I will ever love someone as much as I love you. and the fact that you had to think about things before you gave me your answer made me think that maybe I'm not worthy of your love, that I'm not worthy of you, and most of all that I'm not worthy enough for you. what we had was beyond great and will be unforgettable but I need to let you go now, you will and always will be my one and only true love. it's what's best since I know you aren't ready for commitment, I can only begin to imagine what our lives would've and could've been. I love you Scarlett. so so much it hurts at times.. I'll see you soon.

03/24/16