The Letters That Saved Her Life (sequel to Dear Niall {A Niall Horan Fanfic})

February 4th, 2017

February 4, 2017

Jackie's POV

"They haven't even smoked in the house, and I didn't even ask them to do that outside. They just did it."

"So you enjoy having them there?"

"Absolutely. I wish they could stay longer."

"Well..." Niall trails off. "I'm glad you said that actually. They asked if they could stay another week or two."

"And you said...?"

"I said I'd have to ask you, but obviously now I know your fine with it." Niall and I's conversation from yesterday is still fresh in my mind. I stare at the ceiling not knowing what to do. I don't want to go into work today, but the house would be empty today. The boys wanted to go out. I roll onto my side and grab my phone.

"Hello?" John answers.

"Hey, uh I'm not coming in today."

"Is everything alright?"

"Ya, just in one of my moods. Rather not put everyone else through it."

"That's alright. Was just getting a little worried, you haven't come in yet. Get some sleep and I'll see you tomorrow."

"Ok, thanks John." I hang up and put my phone under my pillow. I'm so glad to have a boss that understands things like that. I can now hear the boys down stairs leaving. They're not too loud, but after being in this empty house for so long noise seems loud no matter what.

-

I feel a buzzing under my head. I groan and reach under my pillow to make it stop. I can see that Ben texted me on my dimly lit screen.

'Are you not coming in today?' I look at the time, I've only been asleep for maybe an hour.

'No, not feeling it today.'

I don't wait for him to text back before I get up and pull a baggy sweatshirt over my head. Since I already have shorts on I head downstairs. My phone buzzes in my hand with another text.

'We didn't bump into you this morning. Just wanted to let you know that we might not get back until late, and Mike stayed home.' It's Ashton.

'So did I. Is he ok?'

'Ya, he just wasn't feeling good this morning.'

'I might check on him later then.'

'Thanks Jackie'

'No problem. See you guys later.'

It's been at least an hour or so since they left so maybe I'll go check on him now? I go back up stairs and lightly knock on his door.

"Yea?" He asks, and I open the door slightly. He's laying on the bed face down, and has the covers over his head. We've become closer in the past three or four days so I walk in fully. I probably wouldn't if we hadn't. After closing the door behind me he speaks up again. "I thought you guys left this morning?"

"It's Jackie." I say and sit on the edge of his bed. "Are you feeling alright? Ashton texted me and said you weren't feeling well."

"I only said that to get them outta here."

"Then what's wrong?"

"Nothing." I think for a minute before I say anything else.

"You know you can talk to me."

"Don't you have work today?" He snaps.

"I called in."

"Well go find someone else to bother, and leave me alone. Maybe I only told them that to get them outta here because I wanna be left alone."

"I just wanted to make sure you were ok."

"I'm fine! Just leave me alone." I finally get up and leave his room, going straight to mine. I don't know what's wrong with him. This is the second time someone has told me to leave them alone. My phone goes off yet again.

'Hey, Ashton said you didn't go into work. You ok?' Niall texts me.

'I'm fine.'

'Ok? ...It's just that you never want to miss a day of work ever.'

'I was feeling really down this morning and didn't wanna surround myself with people so I called in. I found out that Michael stayed home as well and went to check on him only to be yelled at by him. Now I just feel worse and never want to talk to or look at another person.'

'I'm sorry baby, do you want me to text him?'

'Not really. If he wants to yell at me I don't really blame him.'

'Hey, don't say that.'

'Well he said to go bother someone else, and now I'm bothering you. So I wouldn't blame you if you yelled at me too right now. It just reminds me of past stuff.' I hope he doesn't ask, and I regret sending it.

'I'm texting him.' Frustrated, I roll on my side and a tear rolls down my cheek involuntarily. Not even eleven yet and I already wanna cut again. Best day off ever.

-

I can hear Raph downstairs whining so I finally get up. After letting him outside I decide to spend some time with him. I sit on the floor in the living room and he sits in between my legs. I just watch Friends on Netflix while I rub Raphael's back. Niall texts me again and I almost don't look at it.

'I'm sorry for making you upset this morning.'

'It wasn't you. I need to get over small things.'

'Small things?'

'Like feelings, the struggle of getting up in the morning, my life.' I type it out and just read it over a couple times before erasing it and just putting 'Yea, small things.'

I can hear Michael coming down the stairs.

'Did you eat at all today yet?' I look at the time quickly. Almost two.

'No. I've been sleeping all day.'

"Hey." I look over to see him standing in the doorway. My phone buzzes again but I ignore it. He's looking down at his hands which are twisting, and squeezing each other. "I'm sorry." I stand up and walk over to him to wrap my arms around his waist. He immediately wraps his arms around my shoulders. "I shouldn't have said that to you. I shouldn't have yelled at you."

"It's fine."

"No it's not. Niall told me that you were basically blaming yourself. It's my fault and I shouldn't have said that. You weren't bothering me, I'm just not used to people I've only met a couple days ago caring about me."

"That's the problem with me." I say in almost a whisper. "I find someone I like, and that has some of the same interests as me, and I latch on. I care too deeply about everyone."

"That's not a bad thing. To care about people." He lets go of me and looks me in the eye. "I'm just not used to it."

"Well I'm used to caring about people, and not getting the same in return."

"I'm so sorry. I was just in a bad mood this morning." I wrap my arms around him again and we just stand in the middle of the front entrance, embraced in each others arms.

"So was I... In a bad mood I mean. Like, that bad mind set type thing." I let go of him and make my way to the kitchen, not looking up from the ground. "It wasn't good the last time someone told me I was bothering them. It just reminded me of it." He doesn't say anything as I get some tea. "I guess I've just had a hard time lately getting used to things, and trying to push away things that people say to me. I'm not really good at it." I finally look up and he's sitting at the counter. "Now I'm rambling."

"No your not, it's fine." I just feel so comfortable around him, he makes me feel safe like Niall does. I hope this is one of those friendships that stay with you for a lifetime.

~~
Sorry I haven't posted in a long time, I've been busy and I wasn't sure where I wanted to take this story next. I have some ideas that you're going to have to wait for ;) Thank you so much to those of you who have still waited around for the next chapter, I can't express enough how much I appreciate it/you <3