The Letters That Saved Her Life (sequel to Dear Niall {A Niall Horan Fanfic})

November 30, 2016

November 30, 2016

Jackie's POV

I feel a bit better since my melt down the other day. Niall says he'd feel better if I were to go and talk to someone. I told him I'd only go once and if I don't like it I'm going again. I'm ready, and waiting for Niall, like usual. And they say women take the most time to get ready. He came running down the stairs.

"Are you ready?" He asks slipping on his sneakers.

"I'v been waiting for you."

"Sorry." He says looking for his keys.

"It's fine. I really don't want to go anyway." He sighs as I say it. I hold up his keys and he takes them from my hand.

"We made a deal." He says opening the front door for me.

"I know." I pull open the door to the Range Rover. Niall gets in on the drivers side and starts the vehicle. Withing minutes he pulls into the parking lot. He walks me in and sits in the waiting room with me. The 'doctor' comes out and calls my name.

"I'll be right here." Niall says as I get up. I follow the weird man into an office. I sit in a big comfy chair. I didn't bother to cover up my tattoos and my scars today. I'm wearing tight jeans with holes in them so my tattoos are very much visible, and my sleeves are rolled up. He wrote something down then looks up at me.

"I'm Dr. Henry." He outstretches his hand.

"Jackie." I shake the man's hand.

"So why do you feel like your here for?" He asks glancing up from his paper.

"My boyfriend wanted me to come." He looks at me for a second. "He said he'd feel better if I were to talk to someone." He nods slightly.

"Why do you think your hear though?"

"I'm messed up?" I shrug my shoulders. I don't look him in the eyes as I spin my ring around my finger.

"How do you think that?" I finally look up at him and sigh.

"I have problems with self harm, I have depression, I was anorexic, I have no reason to live sometimes, and I have nightmares from the war and jump at the smallest sounds." He looks shocked.

"Ok, let's start with the war. What one are you talking about?"

"I have been in the U.S. army for the past almost two years." He writes something down then looks up, silently asking me to continue. "The first year I got shot in the chest three times, then this past time I got shot in the knee twice. Also my best friend died, but the shooting is why I have to wear this knee brace." I say pointing to my left knee.

"Tell me a time when a noise bothered you." I continue to twirl my ring around my finger.

"I was at home with my boyfriend and we had a couple of our friends over. Thinking nothing of it, two of them were playing a game on our play station. I heard a gun shot in the game and I jumped out of my seat and knocked my good friend out of his seat." I smile slightly at the memory of knocking Harry out of his seat. He wrote something down again. I hate how he keeps writing things down. I hate telling things so personal to this stranger. But I'm doing this for Niall.

"Let's talk about your boyfriend. Describe him to me." This is going to be long

-

An hour later we were done. Well it felt like six hours, but it was only one. As soon as I'm out of the room I got over to Niall and hug him. I don't ever want to come back here I don't like it.

"Are you Niall?" Dr. Henry asks.

"Yes." Niall answers.

"Can I talk to you for a minute?" Niall nods. He kisses my forehead then follows the man into his office. I sit down and wait for him.

Niall's POV

I sit down in a big chair that Jackie was probably just sitting in. He sifts through some papers until he finds the one he wants. He closes a folder and puts it in a drawer in his desk.

"I wanted to talk to you about Jackie." No shit. "She talked about you a lot. I asked her why and she didn't tell me. All she said was you helped her. Do you know what she's talking about? I just need this information for my files." I smile knowing exactly what she was talking about.

"Ya I know what she's talking about." I play with my fingers and smile. "When I first met her we wrote letters to each other. Well, she wrote letters to me. I'm in a band, One Direction, and she wrote letters to me because she's a fan. Well I wrote her back, then we met, and I helped her to get over cutting and her anorexia. But she still has depression, and now me and my mate think she has post dramatic stress."

"Thank you for telling me. I'll see her next week?"

"Ya." I got up and walked out into the waiting room where Jackie is waiting for me. She rests her hand in the crook of my elbow and we walk out together. I open the door for her and got in on my side. We start down the road.

"What did you think of it?" I ask her. I have to ask.

"I honestly didn't like ti. I don't like telling someone I don't know about my feelings, and my problems." I hold her hand and turn around a corner.

"I'm sorry. It might get better." I rub my thumb over her knuckles. I can feel her eyes boring into the side of my head.

"What do you mean?"

"You have an appointment with him every week."

"Do I have to go?" I sigh.

"I want you to get better. I don't want to wake up every morning knowing that you don't want to be alive. Or coming home late not knowing if you did anything, or if you cried until you fell asleep. I worry about you."

"I know you do." I stop at a red light and look at her.

"This is bad timing, but we're going on tour in a month." I can see the sadness in her eyes.

"How long?"

"Eleven months. We're leaving the day after Christmas." She doesn't say anything. I press on the gas peddle lightly as the light changes. "We're coming back in the middle of February for Louis and El's wedding though. I'll leave the keys for you so you can go anywhere you want. I know you have your England license now. Promise you'll continue to go to the therapists?" She stairs out the window for a few minutes. She still hadn't answered me as we go in the house.

-

It wasn't until later that night she answered me. We're in bed, facing each other. My arm around her waist, and she's playing with my hair.

"If it means that much to you, I promise I'll go." She whispers against my hair.

"Thank you." I whisper back before I close my eyes. She kisses my forehead before I drift off to sleep. I'v really missed her. I don't ever want to leave her arms, but I have to soon because of the tour.