Heavy Wears The Crown

Twenty-Three

  But nothing could ever stop us from stealing our own place in the sun. We will face the odds against us and run into the fear we run from. It has begun

------- It Has Begun - Starset -------  

                The next show started normal enough, Nolan was sick as usual, but he was also especially testy as well. "Are you okay?" I asked him, like I always did when he was sick before a show and where he would normally flop back dramatically on the couch and mutter sweet nonsense he snapped at me instead.

"Does it look like I'm okay?"

"Well no, not really. That's kind of the point of asking."

He'd muttered some under his breath and continued his heaving. For the concert Nolan did something he never did. He sat on a stool on the middle of the stage, something which only happened if he was performing an acoustic song, a rarity I had seen only once. The time he'd dragged me onto stage. Even though Nolan could play guitar with the best of him he left this up to Derek and Holden and stuck with singing, for acoustic songs he would sit down and play himself.

He limped onto stage with the cane he'd laughed and swiped at the guys with just hours prior, they all actually enjoyed a bit of brief fun together. He addressed the audience in that voice that even flustered me a little bit. Low, raspy, fit to cut right through anyone and to their core. He explained to the audience in a calm and smooth tone about his leg injury and how he would be seated for a few performances but was otherwise fine and then the performance began.

It wasn't the normal way I saw Nolan on stage. Normally there was a certain flow of perfection about him. He and the band connected in such a raw way. Looking at him on stage I always felt like I was looking at a completely exposed version of Nolan with no restraints. A beast without his leash, someone who was completely free and uncontrollable.

That wasn't the Nolan he was today.

He was tense, practically scowling his whole performance. The crowd didn't seem to mind at all and his singing didn't seem to suffer any so why would they. But I knew, I'd seen enough of his performances to know he wasn't lost in the music, to see he wasn't connecting with the others.

Something even odder happened midway through, he turned to the side of the stage and held up a hand. I glanced over my shoulder to Gunner who gave a thumbs up. "What's that mean?" I asked.

"Intermission. Put five minutes on the timer."

"Intermission? There's never an intermission?"

"There is today." He shrugged as he fumbled with his watch."

"Ladies and gentlemen we're going to take a brief intermission." He muttered into the microphone. "If you find yourself in need of a drink or are looking for the rest room I suggest you do so now. We'll resume in five short minutes for your listening pleasure." He tossed the crowd a wink and descended from the stool.

When he hobbled off the stage and to Gunner and I he put his hands to his waist and leaned over as if he was exhausted.

"What's wrong? Are you okay?" I asked and out of instinct looked around for a bucket in case he was going to be sick again. He never got sick during a show but maybe he was actually sick sick, and not just preshow sick?

"I was fȕcking stabbed. What do you think is wrong?" He bit out and I was instantly surprised.

"Hey, take it easy." Holden said following in behind Nolan with the others.