Heavy Wears The Crown

Thirty Four

"Will anybody watch me? Is someone gonna stop me? This could be my last mistake"

------------- Put the Gun Down - Andy Black --------------

I thought it very important that you get a little clarity as to Nolan's...well...dickish attitude in the last chapter. To get into his head a little bit so to speak (; Also, due to length, I decide to combine the next two chapters so we will go from a little bit of one extreme to another here. Hang on...

Nolan

God fȕcking damn it.

This was the best thing for Carter, and maybe I was finally willing to do that for her. Maybe I could actually be a selfless person. Maybe her putting so much into me had made me a better person. I wanted like hell for her to stay but when she came back to me I knew beyond a shadow of a doubt that I would ruin her.

I wasn't lying when I confessed to her about the bet. When I told her I had never broken anything perfect before, I was being honest. But I didn't want to. I did not want break something perfect anymore. Not anymore.

I needed to push Carter away. Maybe it would hurt her, force a bend here and there, but I wouldn't let her get broken. Not by me.

I needed her to leave almost as badly I wanted to take her home and chain her to my bed and never let her drift from my side again.

Now the only question was...was I strong enough? I was strong enough to do what thousands of aspiring musicians dream of doing when I hit it big, I was strong enough to quit a drug that was surely leading me to death, and I was strong enough to let Carter go once by her will.

I had to be strong enough to force her away on mine now.

By the time I eventually found her again she was sitting on a bench outside of some weird nature store. I gave the store a weird look, looking over the tye-dyed merchandise hanging on the windows and the promise of 100% organic materials in all their products. The smell of incense had me sneezing even from outside the store. "What are you doing?"

"I came to the last place I thought you'd go." She huffed with crossed arms. I had to bite back a smirk. It's not that I liked making Carter upset, it's just she was so damn cute when she was. She couldn't be pressing more than 5"2' she was tiny and with those bright pink cheeks and a scowl, she looked about as vicious as a Pomeranian. Actually, a Pomeranian puppy. Even if she did bite you it would probably be a cute little game to you. Her sloppy bun, the first morning I had ever seen her skip a shower, my shirt and the same jeans she'd worn from the day early pouting hard. Well it alone was almost enough to break me.

I could pinch her cheeks and coo about how adorable she was, I could fall to me knees and admit to her how much I needed her to stay. I wanted to talk to her, to tell her about the tiny white pill and how I had stood on my own two, sober, feet for the first time. I wanted to confess to her that I was scared. Scared as fucking hell of hurting her and how she needed to leave before I did.

I kept up my act instead. The bored rockstar who didn't give a shit, especially about her.

"They are waiting for us you know. We do have a schedule to keep, isn't it your job to make sure that happens?"

Her eyes rose to mine, cheeks puffed out as she tried to swallow all of her snarky comments. She was fighting for the control she had, you know, before I came along.