Heavy Wears The Crown

Thirty Seven

  "Oh, you can't hear me cry see my dreams all die from where you're standing on your own."

------------- So Cold - Ben Cocks ------------

Because I fȕcking love you okay! There? Are you happy? Because I fȕcking love you okay! There? Are you happy? Because I fȕcking love you okay! There? Are you happy? Because I fȕcking love you okay!

"Turn it off." I begged, literally, begged.

Holden promptly muted the laptop and looked down at me. "That's some shit. Thought you'd have at least until sunrise before they'd start leakigfootage."

I had stormed angrily through the midnight streets for nearly fifteen minutes until it hit me rather abruptly that I was cold. I'd put my jacket on Nolan's legs. I was in my pajamas. My closest friend was eight hours away by plane and I had no idea how to get back to the hotel. I panicked. I was screwed. And then just to add insult to injury the hail started.

Nolan would be loving this.

This is how I found myself in a heap under several comforters on Holden's hotel room couch at 4 in the morning next to a coffee table littered with empty beer cans and wearing one of his t shirts and a pair of sweatpants too big for me. I was drunk. I didn't get drunk, and I didn't even like beer.

Holden was the only person I knew with a deeply rooted distaste and lack of trust for Nolan and right now I needed that. So with no idea where I was or what to do and my battery light blinking on my phone I called Holden and begged him to come get me before he had even gotten a chance to say hello. He had of course come to my rescue the way any protagonist hater would have.

Nolan stayed in a different hotel than the others did, you know, the whole drug addicted party animal who couldn't get along with his own band mates had shoved such a wedge between them that they thought it best. They had done separate rooms but drunk Nolan wanted to party and apparently he wanted to party with his band members. So they had taken to sending him to a separate hotel altogether which meant that he wasn't here now and that's all that mattered.

He could find me easily if he wanted to, but we were at least not in the same building and certainly not the same room.

I pulled a comforter over my head and made some sort of inaudible groaning.

"Hey, why don't you get some sleep?" Holden suggested.

I pulled the comforter away from my face and looked up. Holden was seated on the cushion right beside my head, mere inches separated my head from touching his leg. He was leaning on the arm of the couch casually, his body going away from mine and holding a beer can like it belonged there.

"You can take the bed, I'll crash on the couch." He said calmly his attention still on the laptop screen.

I followed his gaze and watched a silent Nolan confess his love to me on a never ending loop. That dirty lying manipulative piece of shit. Holden slurped his beer for a before tipping the aluminum container back to get a real mouth fill.

I sat up slowly for the first time since my fifth beer, it served as four too many and once I laid down I hadn't been able to get back up, not that I'd tried before this moment.

And then of course the tabloids started. TMZ was naturally the first. They had rushed so much so in posting the story to be first that they had "leaked" the video before putting any actual context to it. They hadn't dared to post a whirl winded love story until nearly a 45 minutes later about our tragic affair. But once the flood gates were open...