Married to the Devil

Chapter 20 (Not Edited)

It wasn't long until I was in a cab and back in my apartment. My heart was still pounding from how things were left off at Josh's. He had been sincere for the most part but acted somewhat out of character this morning.

As I took off my shoes and threw my purse onto the counter of my kitchen, I sighed and poured myself a glass of cold water to calm my riveting nerves.

"Where were you?" Derek's voice appeared just as I dropped the glass in surprise.

It shattered on the floor in what had to be a thousand pieces. Neither of us went to pick it up, instead Derek's eyes locked on mine.

His expression wasn't accusing but I couldn't sense the emotion behind his glassy eyes and blank exterior wall either. My throat ran dry and I anxiously fumbled with my fingers, unable to answer.

I couldn't possibly tell him that I was seeing Josh. He wouldn't take it very well, that much I knew.

But this wasn't like the other times either where Josh and I simply talked about the details of our circumstances. My mind wandered to the feel of Josh's lips on mine and they way that I'd let him touch me lovingly.

"I was just-"

Cheating on you with my ex-boyfriend.

Hastily, I cleared my throat, "-I, um, needed some fresh air."

Derek's expression immediately softened and a rush of guilt washed right over me. I lied to my husband. It was too hard to tell him the truth. An open confession would be much too difficult, not after I'd finally come to terms with my feelings with Derek and consummated our marriage.

Derek walked up to me and hoisted me up into the air, bridal style. He walked out of the shards of glass, his slippers avoiding them from cutting off his toes, and then set me down on our leather couch.

His big, warm hands rested on my shoulders and massaged away the tension resting there, making me burn with a passion only he could ignite.

Worst of all, he was doing it again, making me fall in love with him.

I squirmed under him, not being able to stand my lack of fidelity.

His fingers stopped pressing and kneading and I froze, paranoid that my fears had somehow transfused into him.

I looked into Derek's warm, green eyes that were staring back at me and left me with a surge of love and a brush of guilt.

"I know that being with me last night was hard for you, because of our pasts," Derek whispered against my earlobe whilst playing with my fingers, "But I want you to know how happy it made me."

I finally smiled and I knew that Derek was too. Memories of our previous night under the sheets scandalously overlapping my actions from this morning.

You only kissed Josh as a test. He was your boyfriend before and you were confused. But I hope that it's clear now, Derek is the one for you, I instructed myself.

"I was happy too," I said quietly but in a voice that was loud enough for him to hear.

He pulled back slightly, with a small frown pulling at the corners of his lips, "Then why did you leave this morning? I freaked out when I woke up and you were gone. I thought that maybe you got scared and bolted?"

I bit into my bottom lip feeling the dread of my actions haunt their way back to me.

Should I tell him?

No.

He'd see it as a betrayal, not as confusion.

I huffed in a big breath and calmed myself down. Derek thought I was scared or having second thoughts about our night together. What could be worse than my own husband doubting himself?