My Silenced Cries

Messed. Up.

None of this crap even makes sense anymore. 

I am seriously considering just giving up.

I'm sick of the pressure.

Letting people down.

I'm tired of waking up to nothing but go back to sleep.

I have dreams. I have goals. 

Why don't they matter anymore...?

Why don't I give a shit? 

Why do I hate myself so much... 

I'm tired of putting on this mask and painting on a smile. 

I don't want to be this anymore. I don't want to be here on earth. 

I just want out. 

I'm so tired... 

     tired of disappointing everyone.

     tired of having no one.

     tired of being stepped on.

    tired of waking up and facing myself.

    tired of breathing.

I don't want to carry on. 

I don't want to... 

I don't even care anymore.

Nothing you can say can change my mind. 

I hate myself... and I've heard it all. 

I just don't know anymore... I don't really know how any of this could get better.

I feel so hopeless and so alone. 

But the truth is, I don't want to be saved again. 

Because I'm too scared of falling down again. 

I'd much rather just stay down here and wait to be trampled to death. 

Just kill me now... I want out. 

---... Love... </3