So close but so far away..Can you hear me? (5SOS fanfic)

Chapter 18- Beside you

Day 1: The boys are gone.

I kept my promise. I'm trying my best to make music. Its hard. I was always afraid of the outcome, now im afraid of even trying because im one handed. I'm scared of the judging eyes. Maybe I just need time.

Day 2: Promises are hard to keep

I tried again. Nothing. I miss having the boys around to keep pushing me. Its only been two days and I feel like I've reached the limit. None of the boys have contacted me but I found out it was because their phones lost service. So i'm on my own. Live goes on.

Day 3: Maybe todays the day

I woke up with this inner strength. I'm thinking today will be the day a change happens. I guess I'll have to wait and see ~ Finished the day and nothings changed. Still the same. Still haven't left the house. Ha Lukes not going to be happy.

Day 4: My dads determined

My dad told me today hes determined to get me out of the house by Saturday. Its Monday. I wish I could just live in my room forever. I miss the boys a lot. its only been four days. Wow what a whimp. They still have no service so no way to contact me. It sucks. I kinda want to just get out of here but im scared. Is it wrong to be scared?

Day 7:

I haven't written down anything for two days. Nothing has changed. Its Thursday and I have 2 days before my dad drags me out of the house. I don't want to go anywhere. I attempted to play the guitar but its impossible. Theres no way I can keep my promises. I over heard that the boys will have their phones working in 2 days. Meaning Saturday when im not home. Great. I want to talk to them already! I hope tour has been going good. I wish I could have the courage to sing like that.

Day 11:

Saturday was lame. Dad had work so really I was in his office. Everyone gave me sympathy stares. Not cool. They boys got their phones but cant talk like they wish because their busy. I feel like im this outsider in the world. I've spent the last few days just going being home. As for school. Calums mom has been home schooling me. I decided going to high school after the accident wouldn't be a good idea. Getting along in that building was hard enough and after what happened the last day I attended yeah not the best idea. Plus now under my physical situation I rather not be the doll everyone toys with.

Day 20: Is this life?

20 days and nothing changes. Is this life?

Its been a 25 days today since the boys left. Its sad I know the exact number. I wrote in my diary everyday at first but then I had nothing to contribute to the poor notebook so I left alone. I'm really tired of living like this. My dad found out about what happened to my mother and well he's been checking up on her. Apperantly she doing better. I honestly don't care anymore. She doesn't even ask for me she just asks dad to keep up with the clients. No not for my dad to have sex with them but for him to pick up the cash for her. Its sick.

Jade hasn't come around. We text sometimes. She's kept me updated with whats going on in school. She's been busy because well she fell behind in her school work early in the year and now she has to get everything on track other wise she might fail the year which is not on her 2 year plan. See Jade is very like OCD planning. She has to have everything planned out. She made a two year plan and well failing would totally ruin it and she cant redo all of it.

As for my musical plans...well they aren't exactly moving along at the speed of light but hey I'll get there..at some point. Its just not happening. Oh well maybe music just isn't for me. Maybe I can get a job without an education and still be rich. Ha. Yeah no.

"ANNABELLA OPEN UP!" I was knocked out of my thoughts when I heard the door being pounded on.

"Hey!" I opened up to see Jade there with a bunch of work in her arms.

"Thank god. My arms were about to fall off..oh I didn't mean it!! im sorry!" Jade walked in but turned around right after her comment.

"Its all good." And it was I know she didn't mean it in that sense and im ok with it. Shes my best friend I know she wouldn't say something like that on purpose. "So what brings ya here?" I asked directing her up to my room.

"Well we need to gossip! And I need help." She pointed to all the work she brought with her.

"Alright spill then." We sat crisscrossed on my bed and she threw all her crap on the floor not bothered by it.

"Well where to begin! OOO! So when the boys left and you didn't come back the rumors went cray! Like seriously. You are on the popular list now my friend. But you know the queen bitch? Well she slept with Connor. Yeah like nerdy Connor! We think he has something on her. Oh and you know Rock? Like the dude from the music group? Well he asked out Verni just because she accidently spilled her boobs in his face. Dude it was so funny. His face. Ahh man. OH and principal Marylin will get fired really soon. It turns out that goons those old jocks that pop around worked with her. Man the things that are hidden in that school are insane. Like did you know that we don't plays state for free?! Ohhhh girl you missed so much..."

This gossip session went on for like 3 more hours. That is before being interrupted by my phone.

"Hello?"

"BELLLLLLLAAAAAAAAA" I heard from the other end.

"Ashton?" I asked unsure and I instantly felt Jades gaze on me.

"WHO ELSE WOULD IT BE SILLY." he yelled from the other line.

"Ok Ash can you stop yelling? You're hurting my ear."

"Oh right sorry. Bella we miss you. Luke misses you." Luke. Oh Luke.

"I miss you guys too. A lot. Hows tour?"

"Amazing but it could be better."

"How so?"

"Well for one if the stage would be a bit bigger, two if you were here, and three if our main singer would stop moping around and making all of us all gloomy."

"Lukes doing that?"

"Yup. Ah here he comes. Mate what are you wearing?" He asked Luke.

"Clothes." I heard Luke reply

"Yeah..well not really mate. You going hobo style now?"

"What if? Just leave me alone." Luke replied.

"Im talking to her." Ashton whispered. Then there was a silence. I looked at the phone to see if the line had gotten cut but no we were still on.

"Hello? Anyone there?" I asked and as a reply I got a gasp. "Hello?"

"Bella?" It was Lukes voice.

"Hi Luke." I said quietly.

"Hi."

"Luke why are you so mopy? Come on we have some promises going on don't you remember?"

"Yeah but I just cant. I miss you too much."

"So do I but we have too. We're not even halfway through the time."

"I want to go home."

"Why?"

"I cant do this."

"Cant do what?"

"I cant live a life away from you. I cant be away from you for more than 24 hours I can do it. I just want to be near you. I want to be close you. I want to be beside you."

"Will you sing to me?"

"What?"

"Sing to me."

"Um sure. What song?"

"Beside you."

With that Luke began to sing beside you to me. I lay in my bed forgetting that Jade was even here. I Just grabbed a blanket and lay on my bed listening to Luke's voice. I wanted to be beside him too but it seemed as if it wasn't meant to be. We were always apart. But all we want is to be beside each other. Is it too much to ask.

"I wish I was I wish I was beside you...."