Midnight Lullabies

03 | Tainted pt. 2

we are all blank canvas waiting to be tainted

pure and blank;

white,

of new beginnings and second chances

but you took that chance away from me and tainted me

BLUE.

of ocean reflected in your eyes

I so easily drowned in

BLUE.

the color of the diamond studded dress

the night sky wore to the party,

a party I was so often invited to

one insomnia loved to take me to.

BLUE.

I cannot help but wonder
how it can make healing bruises look like oil paintings

BLUE.

mellow like jazz in a warmly lit café

yet deeper than an ocean

and once again

you swallow me whole

BLUE.

too calming and clear

too soothing – I do not want to be soothed

because it is too easy for you, and you do it again

you swallow me whole.

here comes insomnia

wearing her star studded Cinderella gown

dancing in the night sky, basking in the moons' glow

BLUE.

of the late night parties

and the hypocritical ocean luring me into its depths

you swallow me whole.

and watched as I drowned,

lungs burning for air

g a s p i n g for breath;

brain starved for oxygen

BLUE.

the price of safety

you couldn't afford

BLUE.

of trust and loyalty

of promises that were meant to be broken

BLUE.

Sinking,

and you watched as I drowned

into the very blue of your eyes.