Midnight Lullabies

05 | Of disappointing 'almost's

crack
I swear I can hear myself breaking
my bones cracking and scraping against each other
I can almost hear your voice echoing across the empty hallways

crunch
how you so easily stepped on my cracks
like broken glass so carefully put away
like spilled milk so easily mopped
for fear of getting cut or slipping
but there's no use crying over spilled milk or broken glass is there?

click
the darkness mocks me
but it is the only blanket tonight
the darkness sneers at me
but it's anonymousness almost feels safe.

almost.

And by god, I hate to tell you that

I almost poisoned my insides
with some beautifully deceiving pastel pills
I almost ate today before the devil looked back at me
in the bathroom mirror.
I almost felt safe today
before I felt you breathing down my back again
I almost felt enough
It almost felt complete
Not fully, but not barely.
Almost.

And I swear it was almost a crime for people to look me in the eye.
It's almost a crime to associate yourself with the broken.

that's why no one picks up the shards of glass from the side of the street

you walk around it, avoid it
almost cut yourself
because it's easier to ignore it than face it
they tell their children to be careful, don't touch it
for fear of ending up just like it.