Deserving | ✔

Chapter 5

It's been two weeks since her... death. I'm trying to return to normal for Ian, Richard and other people who care for me, but it's still... Too hard.

I have started getting out of my house now, taking walks in the morning and evenings occasionally. It's New York, so people don't notice anything wierd in a man walking in his hoodie. But for me, it's weird to see the world. New York isn't so nice without her.

I remember the first time I came to New York. It was with her. We both got our jobs and were allowed to choose between two cities each. New York was the coinciding city. So we chose it. We came here to check out for an apartment to move into. We were already in the plan of moving in together, and we found the best apartment as soon as we started the hunt.

We tried to act realistic and viewed five other apartments but the first one stole our hearts. As soon as we graduated college, we moved in together in New York.

Every memory I have of New York includes her. And New York has lost its spark with her absence.

Right now, New York only helps me to feel small, and makes my problems seem smaller and negligible. I guess that helps.

I am sitting on the dining table, skimming through the newspaper. What's wrong with the world these two weeks? Let us see.

Ian is making his infamous pancakes. He cooks most of the time. The rest of the time we order pizza. It's been two weeks since I cooked. I am the designated cook of the house because Stephanie doesn't know the spelling of cooking. The only help she does in the kitchen is make great coffee. Well, since her... death, I haven't cooked at all.

This is what is happening. Every simple thought I have leads me back to Stephanie and that leads me back to the heart wrenching fact that she's not here anymore.

Why did she have to do that? She was drunk but still she never becomes a wreck when she's wasted. Did she want to leave me? Is that why she drew away? Did I not satisfy her needs in life? Did I suffocate her with our history so that she felt trapped? Is that why she left me?

These deadly thoughts swarm my mind a lot these days. But I always end up trashing them. I may not know a lot about her sudden end, but I know that she was happy. She was happy with her life.

My train of thoughts are interrupted by the sound of the calling bell. I walk up to the door and open it.

"Hello Mr. Asshole!"

I smile at the familiar greeting. Only one guy has the gut and the permission to call me that.

"Hello, Rock star Bitch!" I greet back and look at my best friend.

Ryan Reed, the lead singer and guitarist of The Moonbeams (I know, the name is weird but the band is awesome) is my best friend since before I knew myself. We're practically identical even, with the same green eyes and left sided dimple, but we're not related. It's just God's signal of our likeness. Besides, he's a Blondie and has a great voice that made him the playboy of the school and now the band, while I being dark haired remain the studious in high school and even now.
He drops his bag inside and hugs me.

"Long time no see, dude!"

"I know!" I say and hug him back.

"Ryan, you son of a dirty bitch!" Ian shouts and hugs him.

"Hello to you too, jerk!" Ryan greets.

A decade has passed by and we still greet each other just as dirty. I smirk inwardly.

"So, how's Rock Star world?" Ian asks.

"Two words. Too Awesome! Seriously dude... Girls go crazy for us! Every concert, every new song, they're practically throwing themselves at us! Hot girls at that too! Seriously, one girl practically asked me to sign her boobs!"