Deserving | ✔

Chapter 20

White light.

All I see is clear white light. A shade of white so pure you feel dirty to lay your eyes on it.

I see white and only white light cascading through infinitive distance in my vicinity. And then, I see it. I see her.

I run towards her and pull her into a deep hug. She reciprocates the force and laughs in harmony.

I twirl her round and round as her happy sounds create an echo inside my ears and sends amazing messages to my brain.

"God I missed you," I say and she sighs.

"Me too, Phil, me too..." She stands on her toes and reaches my height. I close the infinitesimally small gap between our lips and devour her lips thoroughly.

It's been so long and I can't slow down the hundreds of millions of neurons vibrating inside my body, filled with harmonical energy.

Her lips are just as soft, sweet and highly responsive as I remember. These pair of cloudy heaven are the keys to her soul. And it was wide open now, her soul mating with mine in a rhythmic motion of their own.

My lungs are too jealous to leave us alone. And so we did part, after awhile, as we ran out of breath.

"I love you, baby," I say, feeling the need to express myself shutting out every other thought.

"I love you too, Phil. So much..." She says, "but this isn't real."

"What do you mean?"

"This isn't actually happening. We'll part soon and you'll probably remember this as just a dream."

"You mean you're gonna go away again?" I ask, pouting.

She laughs and pulls my cheeks.

"No, you'll go back to your consciousness. You still have a life to live."

Anger boils inside me.

"And you didn't? We both had a wonderful life to live ahead... And you just left me. Just like that, all of it went into the bin. I only have as much as life to live as you had. Just a little more so that I get all my answers."

She lifts my chin and looks straight into my eyes.

"Baby, my Romeo, everything happens for a reason. You can't play with fate and time. If we were meant to stay together forever, we would have. But life has more plans for you. You're alive for a bigger reason, Phil. Find it."

"Fate is a mere mirror, Stephanie. It reflects our actions and it's result. I know the reason for my living right now. It is to avenge the murderer for you."

"Tsk tsk. No, Phil, that is not your reason. There's more life left for you than you know. You have to accept that your life has a lot of chapters after me."

"But who would I be Steph? I'm me only when you are there. You define me, baby. And you won't be there, for sure, coz you just abandoned me. And no one is as good as you. No one can make me me like you do..."

She shakes her head in disbelief with a small smile. "You'll find an even better girl!"

I grit my teeth.

"Don't. You. Dare. Don't you dare try pulling that shit on me. There's just you. No one else can occupy this heart other than you. Your going away doesn't change any of it."

"Baby..." She strokes my hair and whispers into my ears, "I love you more than anything else in the world. You know that, don't you?"

Her voice becomes shaky, the way it gets when she controls her tears. Immediately, my eyes well up involuntarily.