Deserving | ✔

Chapter 28

After a few more words with Tamara, and a lot of her convincing me to let her stay and I refusing to put her in more danger, I sent her to my father's at Lancaster with Tri on her car. I also spoke to my dad about her arrival and the level of safety she needs right now. Though he didn't know the reason behind my worry, he said he was proud of me for already taking his position as big brother. And I couldn't help but feel a little happy then. I was becoming a big brother figure.

Later in the afternoon, when I was still alone in my home, Leril barges in.

"What happened, Phillip? Are you alright? I swear, I'll find every single one of those shitheads and make them regret for ever laying a finger on you," she hyperventilates, as I stop her by grabbing her shoulders and steadying her.

"It's okay, I'm alright. Breathe in, breathe out," I say, calmly, though I have no idea why she is so worked up.

She closes her eyes and calms herself down and I move away from her, scrutinizing her.

"Are you alright?" I ask her this time.

She just nods and looks at me with guilt.

Guilt? Why guilt?

"Why did you get so worked up?" I ask her, shocked and quite frankly scared at the emotions her eyes hold.

"I - it's, uh... Never mind," she says and looks away.

Something's definitely fishy.

"Tell me, Leril," I say, firmer this time.

"I, I'm sorry, Phillip. I know what my limits are with you but I couldn't help it. I..." She hesitates.

"You what, Leril?"

She looks into my eyes, still extremely guilt ridden.

"I have feelings for you, Philip."

I take a step back in shock.

"You... For me? I mean, how? Did I - ?" I stammer.

She interrupts me, saying, "It just happened. I have no say in where my heart goes, do I? And turns out it went into a forbidden place. I just found out I have feelings for you. When I heard you were in a car accident, I was so scared that you'd be gone like Stephanie. That's when I realized. I had to tell you so that my mind is free of this pressure. This feeling towards you is something I will never work on, I promise. But if I get diverted by this, I'll need you to stop me. That's why I'm telling you. Don't worry about anything. I still wanna do the case. If you wish to work with me, that is... You don't want to stop seeing me in this platonic way, do you?"

Breathe in. Breathe out.

Calm down.

Did she just say that she likes me? Like Daniel warned and Tri predicted?

Wow, I don't know what to say.

"You don't want me to handle this case, do you?" She says, her voice rich of sorrow.

"No," I say immediately. Why did I say that?

I am so confused with what is happening here. All I know for sure is one thing. "I love Steph, whether she's here or not. And I'm not going to waste my life or some other girl's by trying to love them like I did her. Because it's just literally impossible to love anybody like I love her. I love her more than my mother, more than myself. And I am so sorry if I let any signal that created this... feeling inside you."

She interrupts me, "Trust me, you don't have to feel sorry. It will definitely go away. I'll work on that so that it withers away. The only question that remains is, do you want me to work in this case anymore?"