Deserving | ✔

Chapter 8

I wake up with a splash of water on my face. I open my eyes in panic.

When my eyes adjust to the light, I see a clear view of a man. A 50 year old man whose eyes are accusatory.

"Dad? What are you doing here?" I say as I wipe my face.

"What are you doing, Phillip? Tell me that first!" He gives me an accusing look before walking away from the living room and into the kitchen.

"Have you even had proper food in the week? Milk? Water? Anything? Did you purposely sleep on the couch or were you passed out without food?"

I walk up to him and stop him with my hand on his shoulders. "Dad, I had dinner last night. I have milk, I have water. I fell asleep on the couch reading something. I'm fine. What are you doing here now?"

He lets out an exasperated gasp. "I'm your father, Phillip. I know when you lie..."

"What's your problem, dad?"

"What's my problem? My problem is that my son is getting eaten alive by his sorrows. My problem is that my son is still in denial. My problem is that my son has become like me..."

With that, he shoved me away and sat on the couch, his hand on his head. "Dad, don't say that."

"It's true, it has happened. It's like this curse. I lost your mom forever and it was devastating. It still is. All I wished was for you to live the life I wanted. To be happy with Stephanie the way I deserved to be with May. And look, now Stephanie left you, just like May left me. At least, I had my son, who portrayed a part of May, so I had something of her with me. But Stephanie took a lot with her. She took yourself with her as well."

I let out a deep breath. I should be convincing him, consoling him and giving him words of care. But I stood still, taking in his words. I would be convincing him, had I not been so convinced that his words were 100% truth. I lost Stephanie the way dad lost mom. The March family probably has a curse: to be blessed with the love of your life and to have them taken away forever.

"Dad," I say and sat beside him. He says, "It's all fate, Phil. Richard March is a widower and now his son Phillip March lost his girlfriend even before they could start a life together."

"No dad, no. Stephanie left me forever, that's true, but we had a life together. We had one hell of a happy life together. She loves me and I love her. That's all it takes to have a happy life together."

He smiles. "You are just like May, Phillip. She believes in love so much... She breaths love like it's oxygen. And you do the same. You are born to love, Phillip. You are born to live with love, just like your mom.

"But, I don't want you to be like this. I want you to come back to normal. You brought me back to normal when I lost May. I am here to bring you back to normal."

I smile weakly. "First of all, have you even called your office?"

Wow, it never struck me to think of work. It was like a thing of my past. Network Solutions Inc. is a great company with talented engineers. I am sure they would've been fine without me.

"I'll make sure to call Derek today."

"Good. Now, I brought lasagna, pasta and sandwiches. I'll keep 'em in the fridge. Heat it up and eat it. And get back to cooking, I know it calms you."

"Thank you dad," He pats my shoulder and says, "Take care of yourself, son. You're too valuable for me."

With that, he leaves.

That's easier said than done. Stephanie and I took care of each other. I have never known how to take care of myself. She does that for me. And without her, I have to start from scratch to get to know myself when I'm all alone.