Redefining Beautiful

Chapter Twenty-Seven: Hanging by a Single Thread

“Hey,” Casey joined me in the lunch line. “I haven’t seen you all week.” Casey placed an apple on her tray. All week, I ditched photography class and hid in the library. The librarian didn’t mind, so I took advantage of that.

“Why are you talking to me?” It came out more annoyed than I meant it.

“Because I’m your best friend?” Casey replied.

“Still?” I wondered, looking at her.

“What do you mean?” She questioned.

“Never mind.” I walked with my tray that only consisted of an apple and chocolate milk to the back of the cafeteria where I planted myself at the same booth I’ve been sitting at for the past week.

Casey slid into the booth across from me. “Look, Charlie, you need to know that just because you messed up, it doesn’t mean I’m not going to be your friend anymore.”

“I wouldn’t say I messed up. It was more like I got set up by the school’s biggest bitch.” I gazed into Casey’s eyes, getting upset all over again.

“No. Way!” Casey gawked. “I haven’t heard that story yet.”

“See, nobody knows the truth about what happened!” I whined.

“What’s with the teeny meal?”

“I’m depressed,” I said simply.

“You’re not depressed, Lee. You just care too much about what people think.”

“I just know that when I used to get sad, I would eat a lot and I got fat. I don’t want that to happen again.” I opened my milk and took a sip.

“So? Chill with the eating thing already. Nobody really gives a fuck if you eat a million calories in one sitting.”

“I do,” I muttered.

“You do because you want to control what other’s think of you. Well, Earth to Charlie,” Casey threw her hands in the air. “You can’t control what someone is going to say or think about you.”

I dropped my head in the palms of my hands. Why was everything so difficult? “Trevor was right, Casey.” She remained silent. “I went to homecoming to prove I wasn’t a loser. I went with Rustin to make Trevor jealous. I went to Destiny’s sleepover, so I’d feel like I was apart of their stupid clique of meaningless crap.”

“What do they even ta-”

“They don’t talk, Case.” I snapped. “They bitch. That’s all they do is bitch, bitch, bitch, bitch... bitch.” I rubbed my temples as I tried breaking down how this all began.

“You’re so... you.” Casey smiled at me. After a few seconds of awkward silence because this wasn’t the time for cheering me up, Casey continued, “So... I heard stories on what happened.”

“Everyone has heard what happened, Case.”

“Yeah, but I was talking with the girls, and we miss you, and we just think that you need to let this pass.”

“I see London, I see France, I saw Charlie Bates’s underpants,” A boy I didn’t even know sang as he passed by my table with a group of boys beside him wearing baggy shorts and chains.

“REAL MATURE, DICKWADS,” Casey yelled.

“How do you forget a mistake you made in the past when everyone feels the need to remind you by throwing it in your face everyday?!” I cried, dragging my hands down my cheeks.

“That’s deep... and so overused...” Casey bluntly said. I just nodded, peeling the sticker off my apple. “You know what else is deep and overused?”