Redefining Beautiful

Chapter Thirty-Two: Fearless

Us. The Tigers representing Emery High School. Us. A team that prepared for this day. Us. High schoolers who love a sport and only hope to go far with it. United as one like the chemical bonds that link together to make each individual a whole. We will lose as Tigers or dominate as Tigers. Either way, we are a team and if I have learned anything about being on a team for the last couple months, it’s that you’re kind of like friends because you either lift each other up or bring each other down.

I stood at the sideline and stared at it for a few seconds. I was about to cross this line. I was about to become an active part of the game. Players were already trotting onto the field, positioning themselves for the kick off. I was waiting for a push. I knew I could do this, I didn’t doubt that. But a small piece of me was just... scared.

Roebuck’s fingers hooked around the mask of my helmet and jerked it back so I was looking up at his bare, blue eyes. “What do I always say about football, Bates?”

“Football...” I flashed back to the day I approached Roebuck at the field and asked him to train me, to the day he introduced me to Roga, to the day he made me do football conditioning workouts because I didn’t show up one day, to the day I said I was joining his team, to the days I was learning a sport, to the days Roebuck spoke wisdom into my life, and I said, “Football builds character, Coach.”

“No matter what happens on that field, Bates, you’ve come a long way.” He shook my helmet a bit. “I’m proud of you.”

And that was my push.

I jogged onto the field. It was difficult to pull out the images in my brain of Roebuck drawing out a kickoff play on his clipboard. Baker, our main kicker, set the ball up on the tee on the forty yard line. He took six steps back. Then three steps over. When he kicked the ball into the air, down the field, the game was in full play. All around me, players were running and pushing past other players to either catch the ball, block who does, or protect it.

I could hear my name being screamed from the stands. I was tempted to look out at the stands to wave back to everyone, but this was a game and people were being tackled from left and right. I couldn’t get smashed. One blow on me and I don’t know if I would be able to get back up.

In practice, I wouldn’t get tackled because once I got the ball, there was no stopping me from reaching the goal. I only ran fast because I was scared of getting pummeled to the ground. Just because I was a girl, doesn’t mean the boys were going to go any easier on me.

I scored twice in the third quarter. The first time was an interception. I don’t know what I was thinking when I flew up into the air, caught the ball, cradled it to me chest, and sprinted from the thirty yard line to the end zone, but it worked out.

As I was running, I was screaming at the top of my lungs. I think it was some kind of magic spell my screams casted because I felt as if I was running faster when I was screaming. I heard laughter from the stands, too. When I reached the end zone, the three Hultgren Heights players that were chasing me, stared at me in disbelief after pulling off their helmets.

“Dude, you’re not a dude,” said Number Five.

“Wait. Girls can play football?” said Number Ten.

“Girls can do whatever a guy can do,” I stated. Derek and J.C. raced over to me and congratulated me on the touchdown by slapping my helmet which actually made my brain hurt. I walked up to the three Hultgren Heights players. “Jaws, boys,” I said as I tapped under their chins with three fingers and strutted past them.

The second touchdown I made was helped by Derek. The three centers on Hultgren Heights knew I was a girl. They mimicked what they would describe as a girl’s voice when my team and I were set up on defense. I prayed Eli, Henry, and Santiago would pummel those jerks to the ground because I couldn’t.