celestial

xii. HIS NAME

xii. HIS NAME

written: april 5 two thousand 16
posted: april 6 two thousand 16

HIS NAME ROLLS OUT OF MY MOUTH IN SUCH A SWIFT MOTION

in two syllables i feel i have muttered a sacred script. i say it under my breath in hopes they can hear. i would not like for his name to roll of their tongues and into my ears. it feels rigid and butchered whenever they do.

names are a sacred thing to me. your name is who you are. your name comes with connotations. with first impressions. out of hot breath. with a racing heartbeat.

HIS NAME SETS OFF THE BOMB IN MY CHEST

most people call it a heart. but lately it feels like a warzone. one location of many. this widespread war is in my heart; in my lungs, and in my brain. my bones are rattled. my hands are frozen with the threat of death; and they shake like leaves. all by the mention of a name. his name.

the war stops for a moment and then commences. it progresses. it gets worse. yet i still crave it.

HIS NAME IS WRITTEN IN COLOURS

i see words spelled out in my mind. they all have certain colours. certain connotations. first impressions. lasting impressions. when i see his name it's written in the brightest colour. it's written in sunshine. it's written in dandelions. it's written in happiness. it's engraved in the creases of my mind. i see it in flashes. a smile forms across my pink lips as i think of his name.

i'd give up all my sleep, and all my sanity to write his name over and over again in my mind.

maybe i already have. maybe i'll do it again.

HIS NAME IS A FIVE LETTER STORY

it starts with excuse me, and ends with [good]night, much like any good story. maybe it'll end with a cliffhanger this time around. i have yet to love a cliffhanger.

HIS NAME

i have it written beside a bunch of dates. i have it written on the memory stored in my brain; the day i realized what i was feeling. i have it written across my heart in case i forget about him long enough. i have it sprawled across my journal pages - inside hearts and under stars.

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