celestial

xxi. MY MOTHER / MY FATHER

xxi. MY MOTHER / MY FATHER

written: july 15 two thousand 16 [ROUGH DRAFT]
                 july 19 two thousand 16 [THIS VERSION]
posted: august 11 two thousand 16

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THINK ABOUT YOUR PARENTS

          how well would you say you know them?

MY MOTHER shows me around her garden of hope and dreams but neglects to tell me about all the reality and hardships hidden in the bushes. 

MY FATHER shows me around the empire he's built for my brother and i but forgets to tell me that it's on the verge of being destroyed and the walls are cracking and could fall on us at any second. 

and when you finally see your mother cry, it breaks your heart to pieces. a woman who holds an entire universe inside of her is breaking down and you never imagined it was possible. you always thought mothers were incapable of crying. you think back to when she held you as the tears ran down your cheeks, and how you'd like to do the same to her, but she doesn't know you're watching. so you close the door and mind your own business.

you've never seen your dad cry but you can imagine only something earth shattering could make the strongest man you've ever met cry. but then you remember he's exactly like you are - and he would never allow himself to cry where he thought anyone else could see him.

YOUR PARENTS hold your entire universe in their hands while you attempt to expand it. you run around and learn new things and you bruise easily and you bleed every once in a while. but your mother and father hold you up and push you along. but there always comes a day when they need a push, too. when they feel insignificant and small and you can sense the cracks that run along their emotional barrier. you're not strong enough to hold them up, so you hold yourself up instead. you'll grab a band-aid from the junk drawer and use it to patch up your mothers heart. you'll say a prayer and curse the God that allowed this to happen. you turn to your father and you pull flowers out of your pocket, and you make sure they have no thorns before handing them away. 

everyone breaks and cracks and cries. but once the breaking is over the healing comes next. your mother and father act brave and tough in the face of danger - in the face of the thing that made them crack. you know they are struggling and you want to fix it all with the rhythmic snapping of your fingers, but the universe is not that kind. but know this: it's not the end. it never is. not until everyone is okay again. 

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